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UFO UpDates is the leading Ufological Mailing List on the Internet. This blog is a snide swipe bitch fest at some of the characters and threads that come up on the List. Visitors here are encouraged to be indescribably rude and abusive about Updates posters. You can subscribe to Updates at ufoupdates@virtuallystrange.net and join in the fun.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Just One Last Thing Before I Go......................

I know I said my presence here would be intermittent over the next few days and it will be, but I just couldn’t go without one final comment. It’s about The Buzzards; Regan and Lesley. Do they go on and on or what? Are all women permanently insane because of hormonal shortcomings or is it just those two? They seem to think that all male Ufologists hate women because they accuse them of hating men. No, men don’t hate all women – just you two.

This is how it works. A Ufologist asks them how they feel about something from a a women’s point of view. They get all huffy and reply that their gender is irrelevant. The Ufologist is taken aback by the ferocity of the reply and makes a negative comment. The Buzzards respond that as he has been so hurtful, he must hate women. The Ufologist sits there puzzled, scratching his balls and picking his nose, and wondering where he went wrong and concludes, not unreasonably, that in fact the two old Birds must in fact hate men. The Buzzards retreat to their cave where they squawk their indignation amongst themselves, thrilled they have notched another scalp. There, they feed upon the gizzards of the downed Ufologist like two screeching harpies, cackling and hissing as they stomp around their cauldron.

These gals are seriously over sensitive and are a menace to Ufologists everywhere. Why do they behave like this? Well, I understand one is menopausal which says everything that can possibly be said about the matter and the other is alleged to be a bit simple. Together, they make a fine pair. Or quartet actually.

Let’s face it; Ufology is for men and Buzzards shouldn’t be doing it. Here’s why. If they rounded a corner and came across a landed UFO and the door to the UFO required a spanner to be taken to it, these two would call out the AAA. And that says it all.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

This may help as a clue to my identity

I am the subject of a major legal case that has attracted international notoriety involving another country and some misdeeds I am alleged to have committed via my computer. As a result of urgent matters arising from this case and the need for my lawyers to pursue other alternative strategies, it may well be that for the next few days my presence here will be intermittent. But fear not, I will return with more incisive and biting ankle snapping as soon as I wriggle out of my present mess.

In the meantime, I notice that the natives below are revolting. Utterly.

Who’s This #2?

A pox upon you for a dissembling authoritarian regime providing for the convenient apostasy of the same questionable legitimacy of the body bringing about these egregious circumstances... ...we'd be better served, I think, by your conjectured philosopher king the contested legitimacy and motivation of same. Given the encroaching tyranny and creeping fascism promulgated by a moneyed elite, you may be better served doing your shopping at Walmarts. Paul Kimball (mouth starts to foam) and the rest are ignorant too, but parrot the party line to prop up their conduits for more moldy bread and butter already turned, or to justify their inability or lack of desire to think outside the ticky-tacky little boxes they've been programmed to believe they're comfortable in. Kimball is a willing poster child for mainstream ufological denial, pretended ignorance of ufological fact, and mainstream unwillingness to think out of the box of the suspect status quo. And I did this all in one breadth!

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Now I’m Going To Get Really Nasty

It’s about time I dived into the comments that people have been leaving behind and started to pull one or two of them apart.

“Interestingly, I've received far more private e-mails in support of my position on………”. This happens to be taken from Paul Kimball in the comments below but really it’s irrelevant. I’ve heard it from so many other people in relation to so many different threads that it has now become a trigger for me.

So, let’s see, I put up a controversial posting on UpDates that gets all the old VND’s foaming at the mouth, I get lots of flak, and privately, I get lots of messages of support. I choose to reinterpret those last words as, “I get lots of messages of support from lame brains who haven’t got the balls to post those wonderful messages up on the List themselves and who just lurk. They make no contribution because they are scared shitless that if they do, other people will be nasty to them or will laugh at them. Someone might even say very loudly, “BOO””. They are not messages of support; they are postings from the scared and spineless.

I have noticed that Regan Lee has become very stressed over the fact that some people might think she is the author of this blog. I am happy to confirm that she is not. Regan mentions her inability yet again, to actually get a posting accepted on Updates. She is not alone. It’s not rocket science boys and girls. You might trip up once or twice maybe but it hardly requires a college degree. Those of you who have had this problem could just try, only for a minute or so, to stop being so stupid.

Old Gary says; “Don't judge all the UFO analysts by the vocal few anti-Bush-ers. These guys have big chips on their shoulders. I think most of them are the same folk that buy exopolitics or "disclosure" “. Geez, Its enough to make you weep. The anit-Busher’s Old Gary are the ones with brains and the ability to think and discriminate. The charms of Dr Salla are the very last place you will find them. Do you have a grasp of politics and, for that matter, Ufology? Or life?

I don’t know if the hedonistic life style has affected Kyle’s brain with resulting short term memory problems but if he could just for a moment stop half way through his hissing fit and take the palm of his right hand and ram it hard against the side of his head, then that just might jog his memory about the brief but nevertheless extremely interesting Ufological career of Rich Reynolds. There was a point, my little cherub, when after all the initial anti Reynolds hysteria had died down the first time round, when even people like Jerry Clark were saying, “Thank you Rich” for information provided and so on and so forth. It’s just that when you hate someone you’ve never met so much that the red mist in front of your eyes turns to a brown hazy color, then remembering anything becomes a major mental effort (Alfred excused). Of course it couldn’t last, not with his pathology, but that blue period did exist for a while. If you’re going to bother reading this you lot, read it properly. In particular Kyle, try the small print at the very top under the Blog Header. This is exactly what it says on the packet, as you have now discovered. If you want some semi intellectual de/reconstruction, go and do it yourself. If you can.

Odd Emperor and Alfred, keep going at it boys. Gloves?

And finally, to all those of you who have been so insulted by the above that you have vowed never to return, I firstly say good riddance - this blog is only for those who can take it. And I know you’ll keep peeping anyway. And secondly, as I hate people as it is………………………………

That crown that Rich Reynolds vacated is mine.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Grin and Bare it

Some words of comfort for Mr. Kimball who is currently stretched tight on a rack over at Updates and having his innards played with; it will all end well.

Mr. Reynolds went through a far worse process than you are currently going through and came out the other side with his reputation enhanced. It was only the actions of the lobotomised children that he had with him to keep himself company that threw the wagon off the track again.

Having had to endure the dryness and tedium of the Heflin exchanges, the List has revolted and decided to go for a cycle of emotion instead. The phase will pass, like everything does and another old case will come under the microscope or someone else will say something that gets everyone’s thermometer rising. Not much fun of course if you happen to be at the center of it all, so thanks for being the patsy this time round Paul.

Having said that, they are lining up at the shooting gallery somewhat. What do you do? Paul has four choices;

1. Ignore it and not respond at all. That way it dies very quickly.

2. Fight back hard, matching insult for insult.

3. Reply but in a calm and friendly manner, so undermining any malevolence or spite.

4. Throw your hands up, admit you were wrong and shrug your shoulders.

At the moment, Paul has gone for number 2, an understandable response. Trouble is, it prolongs the whole episode and can get very bitter and personal. But there are advantages to this because this sort of exchange does in the end induce a higher form of intimacy and yes, even respect at the end of it all.

If you’ve been following the Mckinnon extravaganza, which option do you think Paul should take?

Monday, July 10, 2006

Get Up Off Your Knees Rick and Act Like A Man

Below is the latest post on UpDates from a relative newbie to the List, Rick Nielsen.


Thank you Tim for the breath of fresh air! I, for one, appreciate your candor.

Truth be told, most of the _credible_ Listers here are "positive" skeptics. Don't they know it! If you swallow all the hooey, you come off full of it! I like Dick Hall's desire for more discriminating ufologists. (Did you see that compliment Dick?) I like Stan Friedman's, let's call them what they are, MEGA-meta-analyses. Talk about tenacity! I like Dr. Maccabee and all the other photo-analysts shedding light on our treatments. I like the original researchers and the news contributors. And yes, I even appreciate the "common-taters" like me, who don't have much more to offer than third-hand opining. There are really too many positive skeptics to list here. What I get bored with are folks who seem to swat at gnats while sucking down their Camels, trying to prove how smart they are. But they don't really go anywhere or shed new light or even cheerlead. May they make the Gilbert & Sullivan's Mikado, Grand High Executioners list! But, as many sound, self-evident threads go, this comment will probably end up forgotten, maybe as it should be, like all the other good sense seen. You tell me. (Please, tell me!)

Notice anything? Yes, it’s subservient and cringingly crawling. Just how far is it possible to get one’s nose up Dick Hall’s ass? If you have an accurate assessment of that question backed up by reasonable maths, then please post in Comments.

That though is not the issue. Mr. Nielson appears to be a genuine and pleasant fellow and I am not here to besmirch the character of a fine, upstanding citizen.

But the tone of his missive is interesting because, if you are observant, then you will have noticed it among other new arrivistes in the past as well. It is a feeling of, “I am now in the company of people whose reputation within Ufology is immense. These folk know their onions and have been on TV and even written books. And here I am among them, talking to them - and I know nothing”.

But give Rick another few weeks and he’ll be referring to List members as half witted freaks and morons. And if he isn’t, then he should. Rick; they are snappy, ill tempered divas, full of their own self importance. Their only skill has been to memorise the details of a list of cases to quote back at others. They are human and deeply fallible and often not that smart. They make mistakes and frequently make idiots of themselves. And they are very precious. Pick on someone Rick, like say Bruce Maccabee, and sink your teeth in. Be nasty and unreasonable. But do it standing up Rick, with your chest out and your fists clenched. Then come back here and tell us all about it.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Who’s this?

Gee whiz. When I was a kid growing up in Hootersville, all my relatives would come over and we would have a hootnanny of a time talking about UFO’s. One distant cousin works at Area 51 and he was telling me all about it. Can’t say much now but when the time is right, I’ll clue you in.

When I was working in DC I would often bump in to some guy who worked behind the scenes at The White House. He would tell me all sorts of things about what the president knew about aliens and how he was dealing with it. Seems there was some kind of problem with linguistics or something. If I hear one more person say “Aliens don’t exist”, I’ll get down off my horse and scream till I’m pink in the face.

That’s all us ordinary folks can do.

And thanks for the heads up on that one Stan. That was one of the best TV UFO investigation progams I've seen in years. All the Ufological bigshots getting it on. Bottom line is that Uris’ Kosher Deli laid things on the line and if you ain't got the stomach for what the truth is you'd better toughen up.

As I say, a dog’s poop is just as good as yours and mine.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Very Grumpy Old Man

Just how much weight and allowance does one have to make for someone's distinguished Ufological career when their present day behaviour is so obnoxious?

I can only be referring to but one person, the great and good Dick Hall. The man behaves like a graceless moron, with all the subtelty and tact of an gorilla. Despite his protestations otherwise, these days he sees fit to jump in and offer opinions about things he hasn't read (Condign Report - "I read the Executive summary and that was enough for me") and the manner and style of his postings to the List are abrupt, rude, and about as worthwhile as a donkey's turd.

None. That is the answer to my question in my first paragraph. I am tired of the sycophancy shown towards him, tired of his attitude, tired of him quite frankly. You're not the only one Dick to have been knifed in the back in old age. Others have far worse problems.

Pass Me The Camera Viktor. Oh, And The Toy Train Wheel

Thank God for Martin Shough. Because without him over the last few weeks, UFO UpDates would have ground to a halt. Post after posting after post. For once I’m not actually going to be sarcastic or even unkind because, although approximately 50% of Martin’s contributions should be freely prescribed for insomniacs, what has become very clear if it wasn’t already, is that the man has a great brain. He is able to rumble on almost right across the scientific spectrum and does so with some authority. And bugger the bastard but he actually seems like a nice guy too.

What did provide some amusement however was the three way debate on Heflin between Martin, Viktor Gobbldyeglue and Dave Rudiak. While knuckle dragging monosyllabics will just stand right next to each other and get them out and measure, err scientists with aspirations try and bamboozle each other with their scientific expertise and knowledge, which is exactly what these guys did. But you just knew it was going to end in tears eventually and it did, with accusations of lying and “you’re trying to make me look bad”. Thank God these guys are human after all.

Never in my opinion has Stan F looked so vulnerable and isolated as he has done over recent weeks. He got into a verbal fist fight with Eugene “The Eunuch” Frisson, Ufology’s premier ufological fascist who for once, even allowing for the constant bleating, immense repetition, and occasional ennui, was actually right. OK, that’s very subjective but Eugene’s points, to me, seemed valid. Stan, to be fair, because it was rather obvious, couldn’t really be bothered and did somewhat leave Eugene hanging, but what contribution Stan did make seemed vacuous and without any logic or reason. Indeed, it seemed that Stan was guilty of his favourite critique which was “research by proclamation” and “hand waving” with no real substance or indeed even intelligent thought behind much of what he said. It was a real eye opener for some and it has to be said, a disappointment. If Stan sinks, is that end of the ETH?