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Tuesday, May 01, 2007

UFOs Are Messengers of Satan

Do you understand what makes Victor Martinez tick? I mean, what exactly is the chain of thought of someone who spams like he does? How do you get from the story of Serpositary to “Ladies; Your Tits Are An Aid to Dietary Control” and assume that someone who is interested in one will be interested in the other? You know, I bet you Victor lives alone. As you will know, on this blog we do not discriminate or make fun of those from ethnic minorities; we are, all of us, after all, all from the same big happy family of man but in Vic…………….oh shit…………………………………………………………………….…………… raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalph. Slurp. Haven’t fucking done that for a while.

Bessie Brazel? Didn’t she used to play piano in a bar in Lubbock dressed as Errol Bruce Knapp’s curmudgeonly pet spankmesiter? I mean, 60 fucking years on and only a deranged Frenchman, an eye specialist who can’t see the wood for the trees, and a bunch of hopeless fuckwits who enjoy rimming each other could possibly still be interested. It just beggars complete and utter belief. SHUT THE FUCK UP!

My name is Tim Banal and I wear a big pith helmet. There is no point to it but then, why should there be? If there was a point to everything we did in life then I wouldn’t be walking around with this dildo shoved up my ass, would I? I interview people and I am “of America” apparently. Christ, getting a fucking life pal.

As my penis always says to me, "Artie, if you can't say something nice about someone, then think of something beastly instead" and so, on that point, I would just like to wish our dearest Kimblings the very best for his premier and hope it goes well.


  • At 4:22 PM, Anonymous bornagainufologistexorcist said…

    Well of course, aliens and ufos are from Satan! They is Satan's Spawn! They is directly from the cursed sperm of the Devil, hisself!!

    They are greyballoonheaded sexobsessed womanizers! They comes for our womenfolk! They take them and stick their long, spindly six fingahs up our womenfolks virginias, pulling apart whateva hymenasis may still be intack placed their by our Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer of the World!!

    Then they put the idea, in the young womanfolk's head that she tore her virgin-shield on her bicycle or doing her pilates class or makin an ice cream cone!

    But the greyballoonheaded sexobsessed womanizing aliens are demons...they are the Fallen Angel demons!! Belzebubs grey bulbousheaded Spawn floatin round in their demonsexaerielmobiles!

    Some of our cur-sssed womenfolk bear the halfbreed spawns of these foul Princes of the Air! None of use evolved from a monkey! None of us evolved from a tadpole! We is, what we is and we is created by the Father...the Son...and the Holy Ghost! Satan's fliers are tryin to spoil our precious, saved by the blood o' the Lord DNA!

    Lezzz pray in tongues now...let it go folks! Yabagalllbadddahbagganoooleebaaalommmpdallpalloza! Protect yourselfs from the Flyin Sex Demons...Plead the Blood of the Lamb upon yoselves!

    If that don't work, contact me for specially-priced exorcisms from Flyin Sex Demons! AMEN and AMEN!

  • At 6:42 PM, Anonymous Sir Paul Kimbling said…

    As my penis always says to me, "Artie, if you can't say something nice about someone, then think of something beastly instead" and so, on that point, I would just like to wish our dearest Kimblings the very best for his premier and hope it goes well.

    A hearty thankyou Arthur for your gentlemenly recognition of my extremely successful, award-winning documentary about cored-cow anuses.

    I cannot adequately express my pleasure to see you Arthur up and running once again, in this long race through high strangeness to truth; that we professionals, documentarians and blowhards, in this magnificently fertile field of Ufology seek. And because I'm always one for tooting my own horn and sucking my own cock...

    Just a reminder folks to a new section of my description of my personage, on my multitude of blogspots.....Here's a marvelous site that celebrates my face; please copy and paste the address into your browsers, then click Go: http://www.facebook.com/p/Paul_Kimball/609365596

    There is even a fine link to the ability for you all in cyberspace, to "poke me". Would you all like to do that? Well, therein lies your chance. *a hearty chuckle, inserted here* I prefer firm, no-nonsense poking rather squishy netherworlds. My perennial 'fiance' completely understands and we are terrific beards to eachother. Oh, speaking of beards.....

    Though my face is magnificiently lovely and madeup as needed, I've continued to have issues with my balding head. Thus, my need for baseball caps and Elizabethan wigs (there is no need for us to touch upon the latter right now). Let me just say that I am so pleased that my Uncle-In-Law, the great Ufologist who has thick, luxurious semitic hair all over him-Stanton Friedman; will be donating parts of his luxurious beard roots to a transplant on my barren, cursed, gentile head. I've always wanted to look ethnic and by god, I'll now have a chance. That should open up even more documentary doors for me as well and more pictures for my facebook account.

    A distant second for beard- to- head donation/transplantation was Alfred Lehmberg, but his fiery temperment, bizarre history as a decorated fighter pilot cum abductee and the description of what his beard consists of(according to an entry by Arthur) had me wary, indeed.

    I know many of you enjoy the experience of looking at me, as do I as well. My face is one of my finest assets with me continuing to use the best of Avon (which I still sell door-to-door to chubby housewives and homebound trannies, with magnificent success as a lead seller in Nova Scotia).

    Because I never know just when I may meet a potential buyer for my Persian Pussies, I always have my 'face' on, when at my Cattery; which also continues to be a magnificent success as all my other endeavors.
    I simply have to thank god and plenty of suckers for my success at everything - from all of the above to my fine magnifencently successful pop band and last year's magnificent success tackling the damnable summit of Mount Everest (which I'd posted a picture link to in a last year's blog entry of Arthur's).

    Life is good indeed. Carry on with your fine essays on Ufology, my fine friend Arthur!

  • At 3:58 PM, Anonymous anonymichael said…


    So, artful dodger, now you have to descend to providing us with silly impersonations of others you dislike in order to generate responses to your dumb posts?

    Is it fun talking to yourself when virtually no one else is even listening? Since you never had it, I can't say you've lost it, but this kind of behavior is indicative of further mental deterioration, which even I thought was unlikely, given your consistent level of pond scum mentation.

    You're just some lonely, silly old man, with chips the size of England resting on your sad and sagging shoulders, now aren't you?


  • At 2:24 AM, Anonymous anonymole said…

    Mikie, Why are you so into Arthur?

    For a boy who's claimed in several posts that he's leaving, you still stick around. I think you have a crush. LOL

  • At 4:21 AM, Anonymous anonymole said…

    I'm such an obvious idiot, aren't I?

  • At 10:24 PM, Anonymous anonymole said…

  • At 5:45 PM, Anonymous anonymikieforemoleskinnie said…

    Dear Naked Mole Rat---

    Context, dear boy, context! I suppose if you want to excerpt and post the comment I made in reply to another of Arthur's posts earlier, well then so can I:
    anonymole said...

    I'm such an obvious idiot, aren't I?

    4:21 AM
    anonymole said...

    Anonymichael, Stop using my handle ya silly fuckwit tubalard. Why are you still posting here when you are so angry and you publically announced, not too long ago, that you were leaving to go post at The Odd Emperor's new forum? [did he ban you already?] What's your major malfunction, Mikie?
    anonymichael said...

    Hello, again!

    Yes, I was hardly gone, having spoken my "goodbye, forever" line when, lo and behold, "Arthur" returns after over 4 months absence and begins again! His explanation:

    "So, where have I been, you might ask. I’ll tell you freaking where; in Despair. It’s just been too awful to contemplate. Mine is a tragic but uncomplicated story that won’t take long to relate, for it goes, quite simply, like this. It’s all turned to absolute fucking, god awful shite."

    Which, of course, tells us really absolutely nothing! I mean this blog was _already_ "absolute, fucking, god awful shite", so this rationale for his absence makes no sense or contribution whatsoever!

    Should I have expected anything more? No, but I had hopes. Dashed by reality, again...

    And other than his nasty comments about UFO magazine (which I agree with--it's pretty damn worthless, for the most part, especially since Don and Vicki sold out to Birnes, he of the absurd Corso book. And now than Don and Vicki are "retiring"--I suspect they got sick of being associated with such a rag any longer than they had been after Birnes started his regime--which is when the magazine _really_ went even further downhill, like off a cliff), there's not much there. BTW, this is not a knock on Alfred or Regan. I just think, compared to before Birnes buy-out, when UFO 'zine had some degree of credibility, the post-Birnes UFO kind of sucked.

    Arthur's two posts are, eh, kind of mild and bland. Has "Arthur" lost his touch?

    Or is does his timing have anything to do with the fact that, also as of May 1st, a new forum has been started by the Odd Emperor?

    See: http://www.oddempire.org/arena/

    Mighty suspicious, that. Maybe Artie didn't want the OE to usurp his brand of scatological sadistic sardonicism, and felt he had to try a comeback. Sad to say, I think it's too late, and the prior spirit that moved Art seems no longer to be there. Must have been those bowel worms. Good luck, Artless, in your recovery and attempt to return to form.

    P.S.-- OE, I'll be over at the arena to register as soon as I implement TOR and a double-blind email address to register with. See you soon!

    Goodbye, forever. Again. 8^} ...Maybe.

    8:33 PM
    anonymole said...

    Hey Anonymichael - So when did you say you were leaving? LMMFAO!

    12:33 AM
    anonymichael said...

    I'm going to tell your Mother what LMMFAO means! Such language...tsk, tsk!

    "Just when I thought that I was out, they pull me back in!" --Michael Corleone, Godfather III.

    Mole Boy--haven't heard from you in awhile. I kind of missed the circus sideshow. And now Arthur's back! I still suspect him of being victim to the "Fry Worm Syndrome" (FWS), described above. I mean, as long as Biddy was telling us Arthur had worms in his bowels, he wasn't posting here. A sign of intelligence.

    Then, when he's apparently free of the worm problem, he's back here salaciously posting, and again he descends to below the lowest common denominator. Proof positive of FWS!

    And now even Saul of the Mole Men returns from his nocturnal spelunking...I have to assume Biddy will be breaking into song here shortly, considering all the recent reactivity and stirring.

    Kinda sweetly reminds me of the gentle sound of hamsters stirring up the loose sawdust and shredded newpapers at the bottom of their cage. Preparatory to defecation.

    Maybe I'll hang around for a little while longer...you know...keep an eye on you little animals. Just until the arena gets going. Heh.

    Then again, I can almost always only say maybe, but it all depends.

    So, moleboy, as you can see, your quoting me was incomplete and without the follow-up context of my returning due to Arthur's reappearance. Even though it was obvious, as you read my later replies subsequent to my "goodbye forever" comment, you chose to mislead and obscure the facts by including my earlier post only, thus distorting my reasons for returning, as noted above. Tsk, tsk! The techniques of sophistry are fairly obviously among the few you apparently know how to use. You just impugn your own rather limited credibility and mental perspicacity. Sorry to be the one that has to remind you of the obvious, once again. So sad a sack of silly repetitiveness you are.

    "Anonymichael, Stop using my handle ya silly fuckwit tubalard."

    Ha! Turn-about is fair play here, is it not? I was parodying the "Sir Paul Kimbling" reply to post, noted earlier in this thread. I just figured if someone could pretend to be Kimball, I could pretend to be you. I guess you don't like it when others use the same techniques of response you employ. Kind of hypocritical of you, isn't it?

    As for OE's "arena", there's nothing happening there, and OE hasn't done anything to promote it, so I will stick around here and may occassionally comment as needed..."you know...keep an eye on you little animals." Like my modified handle? Inspiring, is it not? Gee, maybe I will next appear as...well...we'll see. Ciao, baby!

  • At 9:46 PM, Anonymous anonymole said…


    Your latest writing reminds me of the fine U.S. fighter combat pilot/ failed school-teacher/now armchair ufologist and porno painter.

    Verily, you see, I'm kind to you good sir. I could have written in my description of you -ufoologist.

  • At 1:45 PM, Anonymous anonymichael said…

    "...and porno painter."

    Not familiar with that school of writing, AM. Perhaps you can elucidate. Otherwise, as usual, your comment is entirely off-point and rather lame.

    Ah, I see a touch of the old Lehmbergian school of writing there!

    Almost funny. Not quite, but somewhere nearby, and I'm being generous.

  • At 9:41 PM, Anonymous anonymole said…

    Anonymichael - Lehmberg's artwork! It can seem and maybe is - pornographic. I see nipples, tits, buttocks, assholes and extra eyes (well the latter isn't too hot) in his creations. Actually his shit is mad cool because it's so fucked up. And he's a contributor to UFO Magazine (did I already post that somewhere?). I'm glad he got on that venerable list of writers, instead of Sir Paul Kimbling, who is so full of himself.

    So, hows it hangin' anyway Mikie? Anything to share about your latest abductions and sperm harvesting? I'd bet you have hundreds of half-breed, bulbous-headed star kids. You and your progeny are the future, man.....

  • At 10:42 PM, Anonymous anonymichael said…

    "I see nipples, tits, buttocks, assholes and extra eyes..."

    Oh, dear. You have quite the imagination. Me? I see dead people.

    You know, like you and Arthur--dead to logic, sense, ethics, morals, etc.

    Simply dead to what it means to be truly human and humane.

    More later, anonyhole.

  • At 6:31 AM, Anonymous anonymole said…

    Mikie, You are writing more and more like Alfred. Maybe you're channeling him.

    I think you're hiding something.

  • At 5:52 PM, Anonymous Pastor Harry St. Hairyanus said…

    So many of you here are INFESTED with fallen angel spirits that lead you out at night into fields and forests where they take you aboard their satanic craft to create monstrosities of hybrids from your sperm and eggs combining them with other animals and their fallen angelic selves!!

    Pray in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus H. Christ, for removal of the infestation of the fallen angel spirits!!!

  • At 1:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Praise the Lord and pass the hairy, stinky anus to the aliens.

    Life is in the anus!

    There be demons - or at least fallen angels.


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