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UFO UpDates is the leading Ufological Mailing List on the Internet. This blog is a snide swipe bitch fest at some of the characters and threads that come up on the List. Visitors here are encouraged to be indescribably rude and abusive about Updates posters. You can subscribe to Updates at ufoupdates@virtuallystrange.net and join in the fun.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Who’s This (3)

I find after careful and considered reflection that I am bound to agree with your analysis but my conscience finds it appropriate to make the following points. Part of the house keeping routine of a pelican is to pay attention to his plumage. This involves burying his beak in his feathers and with a cacophony of accompanying squawking, manoeuvring it around in such a fashion so as to disturb whatever unwanted insect life that may have crept in since the last round of ablutions. The affect of this is to cause the plumage to be turned over and blown out as it were and it assumes a shiny glean and dint. The older the pelican, the more involved the procedure.

At the end of it, the casual observer watching this performance would conclude that he had just watched some tired old bird goose stepping around with his chest all puffed out like some demented, condescending, deranged avarian fascist. My conscience impels me to point out the remarkable similarity between that image and myself.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Bunch of half dead, brain decaying, lazy assed morons

The excitable and cuddly Joe Faccenda has a point regarding the probable discovery of the plane involved in the incident in 1953 now known as the Kinross incident.


He berates the List for the massive under reaction to the news that seen on the lake floor not far from the downed plane is a circular disk, and can I remind you that the plane was sent up to look for a UFO and the image of the UFO and the plane merged as one on radar screens. So it looks like we might be about, at last, to recover a real UFO, when the divers pull their fingers out and get down there some time next year, and Faccenda is incredulous at the utter lack of response. Only the indefatigable Lehmberg rushed to reply but then he’d attend the opening of an envelope just to be noticed. One or two others staggered forwards afterwards but it was a lame do.

So why the limp dick response?

Because everybody knows that the circular disk on the lake floor will turn out be a man made piece of shit, some super duper star ship trooper oh so secret load of American/Canadian military garbage that was so awfully secret that when it was responsible for killing a few Canadians, the freaking Cannucks didn’t have the balls to hold their hands up. It has to be that because, as we all know, real UFOs, namely spaceships from planet Wipeyourass don’t really exist, aliens don’t really exist and the nearest thing on this earth to a non terrestrial life form would be the grimace on Lehmberg’s face each morning as he takes his daily bowel movement to the tune of the Star Spangled Banner while simultaneously attempting to stand to attention and at the same time trying to stop any getting down his legs.

New Roswell 1947 UFO crash footage? You what? Are these people complete fuckwits or total ones? How many times now has this piece of nonsense popped up on this List? Three or four? Each time people are politely told that it is the final minute’s footage taken from the Ant and Dec film on the AA debacle and cretinous Santilli and his twatish partner. And still it keeps popping up. You know why? Because despite the supposed higher standards to be found on UFO UpDates, the higher quality of discussion, intellect and so on, when it comes down to it, they’re all just a bunch of believers like every other half wit to be found on any other list. They want to believe. And I want to be sick. Again. Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalph.

No carrots this time but I've got some hanging off the end of my chin. Let's see if I can get it with my tongue. That's lunch sorted.