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Thursday, May 03, 2007

ALIENS OVER GUERNSEY; “WE’RE ONLY HERE FOR THE SHOPPING”

If you know anything about the Channel Islands, then you will know that the only redeeming feature about that collection of outcrop that should really be part of France but which mysteriously the French have never asked for, is that there is no sales tax in the shops. Ergo it follows that the same goods in the shops there should be miles cheaper than the equivalent on the UK mainland. The fact that they’re not is a testament to the thieving mentality of the robbing bastards who control retail merchandising on the islands.

This message though has clearly not reached alien visitors to planet earth who can only have gone hovering over Guernsey because they think earth goods are better value there. It has to be that because I cannot think of any other reason why they would want to go there, can you?

Furthermore, there’s even less reason for aliens to visit the UK now following the disclosure that the British Ministry Of Defence, that bastion of secrecy and deception that has manifestly kept hidden for the last 60 years details of British contact with ET, is going for full disclosure and is going to release all its files for public scrutiny. Speaking personally, I’d rather they didn’t do this because regretfully I will now be able to see that actually there are no such things as aliens, just a bunch of unexplained events that have occurred to some really stupid people who can’t tell their ass from their elbow. I would prefer the mystery and hint of conspiracy was maintained so that I can continue to have a porpoise to my life.

On another matter, it distresses me to report that the web site UFO Digest which generally is full of almost acceptable crap has recently decided to climb to the top of the slide and go for the downward run to the bottom with a vengeance. To start with, they’ve got some clown called John Milor who always starts his articles sounding as if he’s going to talk common sense but just when he’s pulled you in, words like “Genesis” and “God” start to appear and amid the groans that you can hear yourself uttering in self directed disgust at having been suckered in yet again, you find yourself saying out loud, “Fucking Americans and their Neolithic religious fixation”. So to any Americans reading this, I say “Fuck God”.

To add to the general distaste of what Dirk Von De Plonk is doing at his site, he has another writer called, wait for it……………………….. Art Champoux. I kid you not. Art apparently is a UFO investigator of some standing. “Some standing” suggests he’s had a permanent erection for the past 30 years. I mean puleeze, no one but no one gets called Art Shampoo.

Whilst we’re on the subject, have you had a look at the picture of the young Brit he’s got writing for him called Sam Willey? Actually, isn’t Willey a bad word? Oh no, sorry, that’s willy. Shucks. Has someone sat on Sam’s head?

And finally, working with Ufologists is like working with children and animals; basically, they’re gob shite stupid. There goes poor old Patrick Huyghe and Dennis Stacy of Anomalist books, nice enough guys as they come, who have just published an interesting new book on the Betty and Barney set-to called Encounters at Indian Head: The Betty and Barney Hill UFO Abduction Revisited. The problem with what is no doubt an excellent book is the fact that it has been co edited by the current biggest Ufological fuckwit going, namely Karl Pflock, and that rather detracts from the book’s credibility. One can only hope for Patrick and Dennis’s sake that the hamster wheel of ufology will turn quickly and that Karl will hop off and be replaced by some other brain dead retard who wants to draw attention to himself for reasons to do with mental health issues.

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