Somebody Stop This Man Before I Slit My Throat
Mood: Permanent erection. Can’t seem to do a thing about it. Have taken the spoon to it, caught it in the door, etc. but all to no avail.
Update UFO UpDates blog is prepared to offer a reward of $500 to anyone who can successfully stop Eugene Frison from posting to the UFO UpDates mailing list. Ever again. Any means considered. He’s still at it, still waffling on and on and on. Its simply unbelievable.
A further $1000 will be given to anyone who can successfully stuff the cork from a wine bottle so far up his ass that it pops out of his mouth, purely as a punishment for the pain and agony that weasel farting, chin dribbling, neolithic chimpanzee brained, twaddle talking cretin has put us all through.
Well, me anyway.
The man is driving me stark staring mental. As you can see from yesterday’s posting, my state of mind is on a knife edge as it is, what with the tension over the Kimbling voting, but this man is destroying whatever will and joy I had left to live. He is killing me. Somebody stop the droning, malodorous, obnoxious, dick head of a twat before I get off my ass and hurl my fucking computer through the freaking bloody window.
Other than that, I do hope you’re all having a very pleasant weekend. After exhausting myself foaming at the mouth yesterday, I will rest tomorrow, Sunday, so that I can come back at ya fully revitalised and refuelled with a tank full of more top grade bile and nausea for another thrilling week of entertainment.
Well someone’s got to do it, haven’t they.
Update UFO UpDates blog is prepared to offer a reward of $500 to anyone who can successfully stop Eugene Frison from posting to the UFO UpDates mailing list. Ever again. Any means considered. He’s still at it, still waffling on and on and on. Its simply unbelievable.
A further $1000 will be given to anyone who can successfully stuff the cork from a wine bottle so far up his ass that it pops out of his mouth, purely as a punishment for the pain and agony that weasel farting, chin dribbling, neolithic chimpanzee brained, twaddle talking cretin has put us all through.
Well, me anyway.
The man is driving me stark staring mental. As you can see from yesterday’s posting, my state of mind is on a knife edge as it is, what with the tension over the Kimbling voting, but this man is destroying whatever will and joy I had left to live. He is killing me. Somebody stop the droning, malodorous, obnoxious, dick head of a twat before I get off my ass and hurl my fucking computer through the freaking bloody window.
Other than that, I do hope you’re all having a very pleasant weekend. After exhausting myself foaming at the mouth yesterday, I will rest tomorrow, Sunday, so that I can come back at ya fully revitalised and refuelled with a tank full of more top grade bile and nausea for another thrilling week of entertainment.
Well someone’s got to do it, haven’t they.
posted by Arthur @ 3:49 PM
13 Comments:
At 4:56 PM,
Anonymous said…
Mood: Permanent erection. Can’t seem to do a thing about it. Have taken the spoon to it, caught it in the door, etc. but all to no avail.
The condition is known as "priapism," and if not rectified within several hours of onset, may permanently damage your member, possibly even necessitating its amputation.
In emergent cases, it is most easily rectified by making an incision in the shaft of the penis, which causes the blood engorged chamber within the member to deflate. If you're not going to see a doctor about it, I'd put that knife intended for your throat to your shweinstucker, instead.
If it falls off, don't worry too much. They can sculpt you a serviceable pussy.
And I'll bet you don't have the equivalent of $1500 disposable income, in pounds sterling, or any other currency. Because you'd be in Blackpool spending it up, if you did.
We don't care what your name is boy
We'll never turn you away
So I'll continue to say
Here I always will stay
So ferry 'cross the Mersey
At 6:55 PM,
Anonymous said…
ARTHUR WROTE: Mood: Permanent erection. Can’t seem to do a thing about it. Have taken the spoon to it, caught it in the door, etc. but all to no avail.
Beat the bejesus out of your cock! Keep beating off until there isn't one last drop of seminal fluid in you and until all your bodily fluids are expended and you've beat yourself bone dry and are parched from the inside out. Best of luck to you Art.
At 2:12 AM,
Anonymous said…
Arthur, to hell with Frison[he's what UFO Updates has become] and Kimmykumkimball vote thing or whatever he calls it.
Alfred's in the lead for Troublemaker because -
1. He's posted his blog alot longer than you.
2. His writing style is a routinely bad copy of Shakespeare's Saint Crispen's Day Speech of Henry V.
2. He runs that fucked up abductee group on Yahoo filled with schizoid members.
3. He mixes politics with UFOs.
4. Every third or so entry on his blog has a feel that it's a scene from Apocalypse Now.
5.He puts up psycho porno pics and porno paintings!
6. His two cheerleaders who post comments on his blog are usually ufo bits[Regan] and Leslie[I think that one's borderline retarded].
If it's any consolation, Regan Lee[ufo bits] is waaaaay behind in last place in the best ufo buggery bloggery whatever category its called.
About that dick problem. Have Biddy blow you until it's not a problem anymore. If she's bitching, rent a x-rated movie from your cable for a few bucks and put some socks over it then go for it.
At 9:26 AM,
Arthur said…
Anonymous said:
"And I'll bet you don't have the equivalent of $1500 disposable income, in pounds sterling, or any other currency. Because you'd be in Blackpool spending it up, if you did."
As I understand it, only ne'er do wells, desperados, kiss-me-quick cash in the back pocket merchants, and mucky people go there.
As for the penile problem, thank you but miraculously it cured itself almost instantly as soon as I closed my eyes and started to think of LMH naked except for a pair of high heels and holding a dust feather while doing the house cleaning. Not a drop wasted.
At 9:31 AM,
Arthur said…
Anonymole,
Thank you for that excellent analysis explaining why Alfred is beating himself off in the Kimbling poll. But, you make him sound more like an idiot than a troublemaker so if that is the case then there is perhaps some benefit in him beating me off too.
I've had a thought. If I was a woman, I wouldn't like this place.
Notice btw that ever since I said Regan was amongst us, masquerading as a man, Anonymichael has gone very quiet.
At 10:29 AM,
Anonymous said…
As I understand it, only ne'er do wells, desperados, kiss-me-quick cash in the back pocket merchants, and mucky people go there.
And your point is...?
Anyway, Sara goes their to visit her old Aunt Dot at Christmas, and that's virtuous.
At 5:31 PM,
Anonymous said…
Arthur wrote Anonymole,
Thank you for that excellent analysis explaining why Alfred is beating himself off in the Kimbling poll. But, you make him sound more like an idiot than a troublemaker so if that is the case then there is perhaps some benefit in him beating me off too.
I've had a thought. If I was a woman, I wouldn't like this place.
Notice btw that ever since I said Regan was amongst us, masquerading as a man, Anonymichael has gone very quiet.
Yes, well in my never to be humble opinion, I do think there is that "idiot" factor with poor Alfred. I think the thick heat, foo fighters and killings in Vietnam Nam fractured the fellow. That, and all these superstore Walmarts that sell their Commie-China wares which cheapen his suburban living and make his service fighting the Commie threat a waste.
I think the aliens torture Alfred too; like those buggy things in The Allagash Abductions. Lots of forehead to forehead staring, anal probing and sperm-taking.
You Arthur, as usual, are very observant about the posters here. Anonymichael seemed quite conflicted - bitching you and others out, then praising you and trying to ingratiate him/herself with you; then announcing he/she was starting a moderated blog or whatever the nonsense was.
And through all those posts, never a true sense of humor displayed by anonymichael but lots of rage that tried turning to being one of the guys. Imagine spending quality time on a lifeboat out in the middle of nowhere with anonymichael droning on and on? I think I'd just walk off the boat into the deep blue.
Trademarks of the humorless Regan of a Thousand Names, Blogs and Websites perhaps? That might be.
At 6:53 PM,
Alfred Lehmberg said…
Oh... humor!
That's what you're fumbling around so inadequately for! You can understand, then, why I thought you were a nose-bubbling mouth breather. You were _only_ trying to be funny. My apologies and here's a token for the comedy clue queue.
You may go now, and tell Mr. Pettingill to quit lurking outside, his mother is calling him...
...Oh... that's his wife? Well, I must apologize again. My bad. But tell him to keep her on a leash, will you, she's scaring the land crabs.
We'll see all you nym-witted pinheads and petulant pud-wonkers on the morrow, eh?
alienview@roadrunner.com
> www.AlienView.net
>> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
>>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com
At 6:53 AM,
The Odd Emperor said…
Thank you Alfred, now I know some more buttons of yours I can push. Not that I needed any more.
Remember boys and girls, every time you disrespect Alfred, Alfred kills a kitten!
http://oddempire.org
At 10:31 AM,
Alfred Lehmberg said…
...And there's the "petulant pud-wonker" as predicted. This one even cheeps it has the sack to push a button! It doesn't.
Perhaps a "nym-witted pinhead" follows? Keep your field glasses and ID books at the ready folks!
alienview@roadrunner.com
> www.AlienView.net
>> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
>>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com
At 1:52 PM,
Anonymous said…
I'm baaaaack! Yawn. Just got back from a little vacation on Mars. Needed a break. Us crypto-T's only get two weeks vacation per sol cycle, darn it.
So, "Arthur"/"anonymole", you think I might be "Regan Lee"?
Bwahahaha! You saps. Two can play your anony game. 'Mole, you can walk the plank now. The deep blue will enfold you into your circus of dreams. An obvious clue: neither "Arthur" or myself are "Regan Lee"--our writing is more astute, coherent, and with a much better vocabulary. _Or is it?_
Will be commenting again soon on a more current "Arthur" post, as this branch is about to drop off the bottom of the blog tree, chronologically speaking.
At 8:25 PM,
Anonymous said…
Michael, How's it going with that moderated blog project you were hissing about right before your last exit?
At 11:36 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hey, 'Mole. Back from your swim?
How's it going with "that moderated blog project your were hissing about..."? Ssssss! Just fine. Still thinking about all the possible ramifications. May or may not do it. Maybe I should just take over this blog, eh? Yeah, that's the ticket!
I know I could do a better job, but I just may not be enough of a sick bastard to emulate Arthur properly. Maybe I've already done it, and you and friends just aren't invited. Look around blogger.com--see if you can find it. This is a test of your mental acuity, btw.
So, now that we have that debris out of the way, what's new? I'll be posting new comments on the next blog entry old Art at play submits for our consideration. See ya there!
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