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UFO UpDates is the leading Ufological Mailing List on the Internet. This blog is a snide swipe bitch fest at some of the characters and threads that come up on the List. Visitors here are encouraged to be indescribably rude and abusive about Updates posters. You can subscribe to Updates at ufoupdates@virtuallystrange.net and join in the fun.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Lehmberg, you back stabbing, underhanded, cheating, puss filled, scurvy ridden self abuser.

Mood: Like a diarrhoeic man desperate for a shit who’s had to hold it in for ages and then finally gets to a head; Explosive.

What in the name of sweet Jesus, his whore Mary, and the fucking gospel of Biddy, the holy saint of fellatio is going on? I mean, what the fucking, cunty, shitty faced twatting hell is happening here? I am livid, I seriously am. Just what has a scumbag of a human being like me got to do to actually get people to hate him enough to vote him the nastiest piece of faecal matter ever to be found on the heel of their shoes on fucking Kimbling’s blog?

http://redstarfilms.blogspot.com/2006/11/vote-for-2006-zorgy-awards.html

I’m batting along here doing my best to utterly revolt and disgust anyone that gets with in smelling distance of this place and fucking Alfred just sits there playing with his twonker and is matching me neck for neck, nay, now actually beating me. How do you do it you back stabbing, underhanded, cheating puss filled, scurvy ridden self abuser? How do you get people to hate you enough so that even when you aren’t doing anything in particular, they still turn out in their droves to nail ya? What’s the secret? Sheeeesh. Tell me; am I too nice?

Get on to the fucking page, seventh category down, and press “Arthur”. And don’t lie to me and tell me you’ve done it when you haven’t.



-----------------------------------------------------



Have you seen this load of posturing shit at Aliens Ate?

http://strangegrub.blogspot.com/2006/11/noviembre.html

Noviembre


To whom it may concern (if anyone),I have a novel to finish by the 30th of this month, so I may not be posting here as regularly, or in as much detail, as I'd like to. Nevertheless, I may have a few surprises in store for you, so keep checking back.

Best,
RDB

Oh fucking lah di dah. I’m a ponce and I’m writing a novel. Nyah, nyah. I have a deadline to meet, gosh, I must rush. Bags to pack, cats to shag, squirrels to cancel. Tell you what, you knobbing posturing asshole; stay away for November and for the rest of all eternity as well.



-------------------------------------------------


I am thinking of changing my name here to Anonyarthur out of empathy with the rest of you. But I have a question for you girlie boys out there. Will it make my ass look big? I can’t tell just by looking in the mirror. Be honest and don’t just say what you think I want to hear. After all, we're not women.



-----------------------------------



It suddenly hit me. Regan is among us. She has indeed assumed a masculine “Anony” identity and is parading around daring us to out her. We must not leave any stone unturned in order to expose her. Look for anyone with a moustache.



------------------------------------------



I know it’s a bit late because I’ve already done it but does anyone have any objections if I use the C word? It is only polite to ask and after all, I wouldn’t want to offend anybody. Do let me know.



---------------------------------------------


Who’s This?#4

We all knew it would end, did it ever really begin, there are no more UFOs and it was debateable if there were any in the first place. But those on UFO UpDates, and we won’t mention any names – we all know who they are – refuse to let go and persist in their petty ego buffeting and posturing, and by their presence block the progress of a subject that could develop into a genuine science. Has beens and past-their-bests like Clark and Hall………..

Actually, there is a deep sense of irony about Reynolds both in his views and in his present blogging effort.

http://ufocon.blogspot.com/2006/10/extinction-of-ufos.html

Let’s start with that. It carries a picture of a dodo as if to imply that that is exactly what Ufology is; dead as etc. It doesn’t strike him that everybody else views him in exactly the same way, and as irrelevant too. This latest blog is just another effort indistinguishable from the rest. There is nothing new and it’s sad.

The other irony about Reynolds was that he wanted the old guard out so that new people could come in with a fresher, more radical approach. Rightly or wrongly, age is a factor and he ain’t no spring chicken. His agenda was indeterminable, probably because there wasn't one, and his age would have prevented his acceptance into the mainstream anyway (fuck; an Alfred word). He wanted to be drawn in and cuddled but Wendy Connors and her honey puddle got in the way. Bababoom.

We move on. Next?

21 Comments:

  • At 8:50 AM, Blogger Alfred Lehmberg said…

    Dude... someone needs a nap, and it's not kibbles and bits, y'know? Do you kiss Biddy with that mouth?

    Vote "Alfred," folks, just because Arthur wants it so bad it's obvious it can't be good for him. I wish I could take my vote back, really, I do.

    Vote "Alfred" and save the "A"-man from himself...

    alienview@roadrunner.com
    > www.AlienView.net
    >> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
    >>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com

     
  • At 9:16 AM, Blogger Arthur said…

    Hello Alfred,

    I do want it, I do. I want to be the baddest piece of shit around and I'm really trying. But you just sit there, do nothing, and you're winning, or at least beating me. Its just not fair. I'm close to taking to my bed and gnawing at the bed clothes through sheer frustration.

    But, I am a realist and at heart a decent cove. If you beat me, if my pleadings and tantrums fall on deaf ears, I shall extend my hand towards you and offer my congratulations and acknowledge that the better man has won. It would be my honor to kneel before the baddest person in blogdom. Shit, now hold on, what are we fighting over......? Oh yeah, the biggest troublemaker, that's it.

     
  • At 12:36 PM, Blogger Alfred Lehmberg said…

    I think it's my Zen approach to hatred provocation, that's the key!

    Chant this mantra to yourself...

    "I must not desire. Desire is the mind-killer. Desire is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my desire. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the desire has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

    See? Simple.

    It helps to swing a dead cat around your head as you chant this.

    alienview@roadrunner.com
    > www.AlienView.net
    >> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
    >>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com

     
  • At 4:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Alfred, I will cast a vote for you, two! Already cast a vote for Arthur, but since PollHost polls can easily be hacked,* skewing the results, no one should put much stock in them.

    But, just considering the visionary eloquence of a contemplative meditation on a Zen mantra about desire while swinging a dead cat overhead is worth my 2 cents, or at least two votes. Not that this specific "best troublemaker" poll has all that much validity, anyway, considering the source, candidates, and likely vote volume.

    I thought the title belonged to good buddy Phil Klass, anyway. Oh, that's right, he's dead. Hmmmm...that's never stopped someone from being voted for either, come to think of it, as long as they're on the ballot. Dieboldly, into the future!

    OMG, what if Klass had himself frozen, is "resurrected" a thousand years in the future, like Phillip Fry of Futurama, and gets formally introduced to our then au courant alien overlords, personally? Would they make him their honorary ass-slave, probitively speaking? Oh, the imagined irony!

    But it is great to see such a valiant struggle over something so relatively meaningless. It gives me hope that the troubles of mankind will be soon resolved!

    (I _had_ been wondering what the key, seminal--heh!--event in determining our collective fate would be--now that it has arrived, we can all rest easy. Pass me a martooni, would you? Danke.)

    *It has to do with setting up multiple, temporary hard drive partitions on just one PC, each a different, separate user account, and then voting via each one once each account's browser has been opened. 'Snatcherally!

    --AME

     
  • At 3:16 PM, Blogger The Odd Emperor said…

    Have you seen this load of posturing shit at Aliens Ate?

    Sure!, isn’t everyone writing a novel these days?

    I am thinking of changing my name here to Anonyarthur out of empathy with the rest of you. But I have a question for you girlie boys out there. Will it make my ass look big?

    You know? Your ass always looks big to me darling!

    It suddenly hit me. Regan is among us. She has indeed assumed a masculine “Anony” identity and is parading around daring us to out her. We must not leave any stone unturned in order to expose her. Look for anyone with a moustache.

    You’re wrong! My dear Red Queen would never don the mask of a MAN! She’s much too regal, too, sophisticated to ever do something like that! You stop that kind of talk right now or I’ll……I’ll say something nasty to you!

    ……And Alfred; shut the fuck up!

    Hey, you know comments on post “Stop This Man” are not working?

     
  • At 4:34 PM, Blogger Alfred Lehmberg said…

    Mr. Pettingill, You fraptiously fatuous and foulmouthed piss-wit, _you_. Dripping estrogen, tricot, crinoline, and _lace_ she's still got twice _your_ sack.

    ...You may go now.

    alienview@roadrunner.com
    > www.AlienView.net
    >> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
    >>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com

     
  • At 7:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Natasha-Regan-PlaidJar-Ruby-RedQueen-RubyHoney-MagicFishDeer might have her pussy whipped dh writing in here.

     
  • At 9:50 AM, Blogger Arthur said…

    I've had further thoughts about your response to this blog entry of mine Alfred. You see, it sounds like you're trying to calm a mad man. I was puzzled.

    So I looked to my left and saw there was no one there. And then I looked to my right and saw there was no one there either.

    So I used my brain and worked out that you were referring to me. Unfortunately this has a familiar ring.

    You repeatedly asked me to "chill". I see now that you are no different to my parents - they were the same. And after them it was school, then nurses, then doctors, then hospitals, then the police, then the courts, all saying the same thing; calm down.

    But this situation is typical. I look at what I have written above and I can see nothing wrong. It seems perfectly rational and reasonable to me. I have always been rational and reasonable.

    So I have to conclude that it is you who are wrong, and that for reasons of your own, like everyone else, you are persecuting me. Why you want to do this beats me.

    The parents of my girlfiend were the same after Judy went away. They were very nasty and said some unkind things.

    My friend in the special needs residents center told me that someone had once said about me that if I'm not stopped I'll end up killing somebody but that is ridiculous because how can you kill someone with words? To be fair, they had said this while I was having one of my funny blackouts at the time. But even still, it just doesn't make sense.

    I understand you mean well Alfred but hear this; I won't be disresepcted.

     
  • At 11:14 AM, Blogger Alfred Lehmberg said…

    We're peas in a pod dude; me either. Hell, put the peddle down and go for max warp and an even burn. You earn it.

    "Engage, Ensign Crusher..."

    alienview@roadrunner.com
    > www.AlienView.net
    >> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
    >>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com

     
  • At 1:59 PM, Blogger Arthur said…

    Does anyone have any idea what this silly man is on about?

     
  • At 4:41 PM, Blogger The Odd Emperor said…

    Not a clue!

    Why do you keep calling me “Pettingill” Alfred? You half-baked fecal knotty-pated miscreant. You frothy ill-nurtured bootless nut-hook!

    Go boil your empty shoe bottoms you beef-witted, fobbing, tardy-gaited harpy!

    http://oddempire.org

     
  • At 5:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

  • At 6:28 PM, Blogger Alfred Lehmberg said…

    Because you _are_ Guy Pettingill, Sir, and doing your pathetic best to make the little bit of overpriced property in Florida you live on... suck. Yes. And I bet you thought it was one of those sink holes...

    ...And I want to commend you on trying so desperately hard to fit in over here at "Pink Stinks," even if your alliteration is lacking, your imagery is weak, your metaphors are tedious, and your style (derived as it is) forced.

    Pity -- I suspect you'll never be any good at this, will you Mr. Pettingill. Seriously... sucks to be you, eh? Tsk.

    ...You may go now.

    alienview@roadrunner.com
    > www.AlienView.net
    >> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
    >>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com

     
  • At 5:38 AM, Blogger The Odd Emperor said…

    My style in the post I stole from the Bard - sir! Just like you did!

    And you dodged the question- again! What’s the matter Alfred, are you scared to answer?

    http://oddempire.org

     
  • At 10:45 AM, Blogger Alfred Lehmberg said…

    Um-hmmm. Got your mouth washed out I see...

    "Derived" by any other name smells like a turd crayon in the first place, Mr. Pettingill. In the second, your question was answered in the first paragraph. Scrape the scabe droppings from rheumy peepers and try again.

    You may go.

    alienview@roadrunner.com
    > www.AlienView.net
    >> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
    >>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com

     
  • At 2:03 PM, Blogger The Odd Emperor said…

    Nah Alfred, you didn’t answer it. You dodged it. Just like you dodged the it the last few times. How come Alfred? It's a very simple question.

     
  • At 2:55 PM, Blogger Alfred Lehmberg said…

    Dear Mr. Pettingill...

    You have the advantage, Sir, a neat trick given your sullen intransigence, clueless hubris, and niggardly aspect.

    I understand the question alluded to is why I keep calling you, "Mr. Pettingill," Mr. Pettingill...

    Am I correct?

    Then it is because I believe you to be "Mr. Pettingill," Mr. Pettingill. If I believed you to be some other person, but then _continued_ to call you "Mr. Pettingill," Mr. Pettingill... well then, I could see someone of even _your_ limited imagination having some cause for concern.

    I mean, who would want to be identified as "Mr. Pettingill" if they were _not_ "Mr. Pettingill," Mr. Pettingill? Is that fair Mr. Pettingill? Does the logic hold up even for someone as as tragically dense as yourself... Mr. Pettingill?

    You may go.

    alienview@roadrunner.com
    > www.AlienView.net
    >> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
    >>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com

     
  • At 6:20 PM, Blogger The Odd Emperor said…

    Um, Alfred, that makes far less sense than usual.

    If I take your meaning sir, I surmise that to you, reality doesn’t matter very much; your belief that I am whatever you say I am is of prime importance. So, reality is to you whatever you believe it to be, or what someone else tells you it is?

    I see the logic in that sir. The logic of one with a history of allowing others to tell them what to believe, one who believes that they can make a new reality just by bellowing it into existence. That sir, is really quite beyond my imagination.

    And I may add, quite beyond the reality most people live in.

    I think I'll stay.

    http://oddempire.org

     
  • At 1:26 AM, Blogger Alfred Lehmberg said…

    You idiot.

    You admitted it _yourself_ right after you were dragged squealing from your dank little defilade... even intimating you might have to litigate, whining right here on "pink stinks" that I offended you because I published private contact info about people on the INTERNET. Yourself.

    ...Whining that you knew the day would come when you were finally outed...

    Who is it 'bellowing' unreality?

    ...such an idiot...

    alienview@roadrunner.com
    > www.AlienView.net
    >> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
    >>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com

     
  • At 3:28 AM, Blogger The Odd Emperor said…

    Um ALfred hon.

    You did!

    I’m really surprised at some of the places you sent that bullcrap to. You have some strange pals AL.

    BTW, Citation please, I never insinuated that I was going to litigate! I mentioned that you’ve taken a weight of responsibility that I don’t really think was yours to begin with.

    Now who’s the idiot?
    http://oddempire.org

     
  • At 5:49 AM, Blogger Alfred Lehmberg said…

    ...Seems the ball still bounces on your side of the net, Mr. Pettipoot. The pool of drool dripping from your slack jaws is measured in square feet not centimeters... The idiot factor seems entirely your own _and_ self-inflicted. Sorry. [not}.

    Maybe you ate a lot of lead paint when you were a kid, or your mother drank heavily while she carried you?

    ...Some kind of cranial insult to your brain pan? People like you are always hitting their heads, and this is forgetting I'm likely not the first provoked to stomp on its hairless little point, too.

    ...A chemical or nutritional imbalance, perhaps?

    The result of some sexual abuse by a trusted family member, mayhap?

    You were brain-dead when you forced my encounter with you, so I know its not _my_ fault.

    [..._such_ a mouth breather...]

    Dismissed.

    alienview@roadrunner.com
    > www.AlienView.net
    >> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
    >>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com

     

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