New Face On My Ass
This is a sad moment. If there has been one persistent thread that has maintained itself here over the months that this marvellous and frightfully funny blog has been in existence, other than the obvious one which is that I am the most appalling human being on the planet, then it is the battle against a lack anything resembling humor on UpDates. It is a List filled with the most miserable, sour faced drones you could never wish to meet.
If there has been one person who has carried the banner of mirth in the right direction, then it has been “English Features” Stuart Miller.
I like Stuart Miller. OK, someone has to. I like him because I sense a certain something that makes me think that if he was a man and I was a man, we could get it on together, (as long as Biddy didn’t find out). But mostly I like him because he’s stupid. Not stupid in the sense that he’s stupid, although he might be that, but stupid in the sense that he has a stupid sense of humor, which is stupid. You can see his stupid sense of humor in his stupid magazine.
Now, I like stupid. And I like his stupid magazine. You can tell that I'm a bit stupid too because you can see stupid things here on this stupid blog. So as I say, I like Stupid Stuart Miller. He makes me laugh. He’s funny in a stupid sort of way. Except when he isn’t funny but thinks he is. Some of the things he does don’t work and then they come off as stupid. Then they’re not funny. They’re stupid.
That face On Mars shit was stupid. That thing looked nothing like a face let alone one on stupid fucking Mars. It was…………silly.
http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/oct/m19-004.shtml
You’ve let me down Stupid Stuart. You’re the one person I rely on to at least make me smile on fucking Updates from time to time but at the risk of sounding like one of the drongos that “contribute” down below, your standards, Stupid Stuart, seem to be slipping. This will not do. You will be punished. I am going to compare you to Greg Boone. That is a serious punishment. Your Face on Mars shit was about as funny as Greg Boone. Slash wrists time. The shame of that should haunt you forever. Now fuck off and go and be funny again, this time properly.
If there has been one person who has carried the banner of mirth in the right direction, then it has been “English Features” Stuart Miller.
I like Stuart Miller. OK, someone has to. I like him because I sense a certain something that makes me think that if he was a man and I was a man, we could get it on together, (as long as Biddy didn’t find out). But mostly I like him because he’s stupid. Not stupid in the sense that he’s stupid, although he might be that, but stupid in the sense that he has a stupid sense of humor, which is stupid. You can see his stupid sense of humor in his stupid magazine.
Now, I like stupid. And I like his stupid magazine. You can tell that I'm a bit stupid too because you can see stupid things here on this stupid blog. So as I say, I like Stupid Stuart Miller. He makes me laugh. He’s funny in a stupid sort of way. Except when he isn’t funny but thinks he is. Some of the things he does don’t work and then they come off as stupid. Then they’re not funny. They’re stupid.
That face On Mars shit was stupid. That thing looked nothing like a face let alone one on stupid fucking Mars. It was…………silly.
http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/oct/m19-004.shtml
You’ve let me down Stupid Stuart. You’re the one person I rely on to at least make me smile on fucking Updates from time to time but at the risk of sounding like one of the drongos that “contribute” down below, your standards, Stupid Stuart, seem to be slipping. This will not do. You will be punished. I am going to compare you to Greg Boone. That is a serious punishment. Your Face on Mars shit was about as funny as Greg Boone. Slash wrists time. The shame of that should haunt you forever. Now fuck off and go and be funny again, this time properly.
posted by Arthur @ 7:34 AM
5 Comments:
At 6:05 PM,
Anonymous said…
There's a kind of recursive, circular desperation to that post, Artless. Now you're copping and reworking our comments that most accurately apply to you. Can't you be any more original? Rhetorical question, natch'. I guess stupid is as stupid does. Box of chocolates, anyone?
Oh, I also left you a little love note (#21) below your "Regan" post. More later.
Enjoy!
-M
At 4:21 AM,
Anonymous said…
" Oh, I also left you a little love note (#21) below your "Regan" post. More later.
Enjoy!
-M "
anonymichael- Such a cockteasing diva you are!
At 2:34 AM,
Anonymous said…
I'll bet you say that to all the boys....ahem.
At 1:44 AM,
Anonymous said…
anonymichael said I'll bet you say that to all the boys....ahem.
Only to a man who publically admits to writing a "little love note"[your comment no. 1] to the blogger,a man. It's pretty clear, either you're gay or you're a chick posing as a man and you're getting really confused with your halfassed comebacks.
At 1:08 AM,
Anonymous said…
Ha! I thought that might get to you. Aren't you and Artie the ones who complain that people just aren't getting the intended "irony" of your posts? So, when someone else plays with your style, _you_ don't get it? How disappointing. Turn about is fair play, after all. And how do you know Arthur is a man? Do tell. Look in the mirror. And is he a "girlie man", with a bottoms-up "orientation?" The great unwashed public is dying to know!(Giggle...)...not really.
"It's pretty clear, either you're gay or you're a chick posing as a man and you're getting really confused with your halfassed comebacks."
Hehee! Wrong again, mole-brain. Hmmm...that may be too strong. Don't want to insult the relative intelligence of actual moles, after all.
Look, I'm neither a "chick" nor gay. Not that there's anything wrong with either. If I was one or the other, or something in between, I'd say so. I have no problems with either gays or women, or any combination thereof. I'm a guy, regular hetero variety, if you must know. Oh, wait a sec...let me look...hmmm. Or _am_ I? Maybe I'm none of the above. Perhaps I'm an alien "walk in", just using this body for kicks. You humans are so amusing some times. We have always been here, and sometimes it gets boring, so we play with you just like semi-intelligent puppies. I just laugh when, using your and Artless' methods, you can't take what you try to dish out. How "ironic"!
And if I come across to you as "confused" with my "halfassed comebacks," maybe it's _you_ who are confused in a quarter-assed way. Hope that resolves all your questions...NOT!
Post a Comment
<< Home