Ooooooh Mummy, Mummy, There’s A Man With A Big Dick At The End Of My Bed
Mood: alien
Tonight Arthur offers an opinion. He offers an opinion most of the time but he feels like giving himself airs and graces and so is calling this “An Opinion”. Fucking wanker.
“If I’m not there to be the guardian of the gate, then anything nasty can creep in and get at you. The aliens are coming, your government doesn’t care, and you’re going to get eaten up by a big horrible monster.”
http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-1240382,00.html
The first and pretty much only thought that flew through my mind when I woke up dis mornin' and read all this gob shite was, “Pope is making a twonker out of himself”. True, he doesn’t quite say as much, but not far off.
So, my opinion is, Pope you’re a twat.
What depth, what perspective!
Tonight Arthur offers an opinion. He offers an opinion most of the time but he feels like giving himself airs and graces and so is calling this “An Opinion”. Fucking wanker.
“If I’m not there to be the guardian of the gate, then anything nasty can creep in and get at you. The aliens are coming, your government doesn’t care, and you’re going to get eaten up by a big horrible monster.”
http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-1240382,00.html
The first and pretty much only thought that flew through my mind when I woke up dis mornin' and read all this gob shite was, “Pope is making a twonker out of himself”. True, he doesn’t quite say as much, but not far off.
So, my opinion is, Pope you’re a twat.
What depth, what perspective!
posted by Arthur @ 12:50 PM
8 Comments:
At 11:28 PM,
Anonymous said…
http://www.nickpope.net/operation_thunderchild.htm
Even though I hate the English...just think of Braveheart and The Patriot and my delight in portraying them as major wankers, I am considering making Englishman Nick Pope's Operation Thunder Child into a movie, with the actual dialect of the aliens...you know, like the way I did Aramaic in The Passion of Christ and Mayan in my soon to be released Apocalypto.
At 12:11 AM,
Anonymous said…
Pope's position is such that it must work its way up to "asinine." I think he must have awakened one morning and said to himself, "Let's see - what the easiest and most direct route to making a fucking DOOFUS of myself?"
Of course, the proof is always in the puddin' Unless Charles really is a reptilian, and we just don't know it. Hell, Tony Blair could be a pod person bent on world domination, which would explain why he always kisses Dubya's arse.
McCartney could be an alien, too, which would explain why Heather is suing him for being abusive. He seems so out of character because he's really an interstellar cockroach in a McCartney suit.
You can have my vintage Richenbacher bass when you pry it from my cold dead fingers...
Your terms are acceptable.
As for Mr. Bean - he was, and always shall be an alien. Along with the two Ronnies, and several other personages who shall go unnamed here.
At 12:34 AM,
Anonymous said…
Heather McCartney? That beyatches stumb leg must smell like stiiiiraaayt up shit! Ya'll know when you be takin prostesticals off a stump limb it be smellin baaad. Like mornin breff 10Xs.
Her tits was saggin too. If i was married to that old baggy pinkskinned english playa and i had to suck his uncircumnavigatedcizicaled shriveled up pinkie, i wouldsta gotten myself a complete body lift, like its done on dr. 90210. And a whole lotta bling includin a platinum grill. Ya know. Keepin it real for my main man Arthur.
At 10:31 PM,
Anonymous said…
Keepin it real for my main man Arthur.
You are an affront to Ebonics speakers everywhere, sir.
At 8:19 PM,
Anonymous said…
Maybe Alfred's back. The sentence in the above anonymous entry ends with a "sir".
At 2:07 AM,
Anonymous said…
Oh Melvin! I so loved Braveheart. I've watched it about a dozen times, of course fastforwarding through his two fish interests.
I so enjoyed imagining the musky manly smells of those sweaty, dirty uncircumcized Scotsmen fighting for freedom from the English. It was almost as good as the German submariners in Das Boot fighting for fre...um, something, against the English. Let's just say both worthy cock dripping movies.
And about that Paul and Heather McCartney business? Ringo turned out to be the best looking of the bunch,oh, I mean what's left alive of them.
A little birdy told me Ringo had lots of face and body work done in L.A. He's kept himself up and he looks faboo.
Whilst Paul McCartney looks like a Blood Hound with those saggy eyes and jowls. And his second wife has those same zeppilen tits like his first wife-that nutty vegan who got on stage singing and tamborining with Paul-and died of cancer.
And Paul's daughter Stella, is an overrated fashion designer and perfumer. She's blah.
At 3:10 AM,
Anonymous said…
Sir? I would guess a sock puppet's sock puppet could just as easily abrogate such a term, suggest Alfred, pose a couple of puppets in a mock conversation with each other, and further confuse the issues, if there are any here worth attempting to clear up. Say, is it getting smoky in here, or what? Damn it. The boys must be lighting matches again down in the laundry room. Pardon me for a moment...(Mom walks down the hall, down the stairway to the basement, hears the giggling boys, and sees the flaming bag of shit being assaulted by tin-foil match rockets from either side of the washing machine)...holy fuck...
"Boys! Stop that right now! Damn it, I warned you both the next time something like this happened..." [continued in the next episode].
See? Anyone can do it. Now, which sock puppet am I? Guess again!
At 1:14 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hah! Wrong on both counts. If I gave a fuck? I gave at the office.
And am I to assume your given Christian name is anonyguess? What an odd choice for your parents to make.
I'm all down with charitable donations to the right recipient. Last Christmas, I even donated to the Salvation Army Santa ringin' his bell outside of my local K-Mart. He was none too pleased. Said my donation made the dollar bills in his kettle all sticky. Go figure. Some people just can't accept charity!
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