Daddy, this bit fell off.

"Look son, look what daddy’s brought you home to play with. It’s a piece of dabby dozy material off one of those flying saucers. Yes, yes, of course you can play with it son. Just bear in mind that the last guy to touch that was Slurgoth on Reta Zetadoodahs. That bendy piece of shit has come a long way to get here. You’ll be like only the fourth or fifth person in the entire history of Mankind ever to touch something as precious as that so mind you don’t spill any peanut butter over it. No Jesse, don’t do that with it. I’m sure the hamster would rather you didn’t try and shove the sharp bit up his ass. And no, you can’t use it either to clean out your ears. Yeah sure, go swap it if you want with Frankie next door for some gum but it’s got to be worth at least three packs. What’s that honey? Somebody from the press on the phone? What the fuck! How did they find out? Junior, did you call the papers? JUNIOR. Now what hon? Someone at the door from military intelligence? Oh yeah, right look colonel, I have the authority to classify anything I want to, so get lost. Etc. etc."