Update UFO UpDates

Shit, It’s The End Of The World

2007-05-21T02:02:00.001-07:00

In one of those very rare seismic events that affect the course of history just once in every person’s life time, something happened on UFO Updates this past week that could impact upon the mental well being and spirituality of many thousands of people. As is often the case, the event happened by oversight; Errol Bruce Knapp let slip through a posting that actually told the truth. Here it is:

From: Michael Christol <spachopr@bellsouth.net>
To: ufoupdates@virtuallystrange.net
Date: Sun, 20 May 2007 09:00:43 -0600
Subject: Re: U.S. Department Of Defense On UFOs

It is amazing how close the Kenneth Arnold description of the objects he saw, comes to matching the Horton Brothers flying wings designed for Germany during WWII, yet no one, even today wants to consider the possibility that this was what Arnold could have seen.

And the speed? With jet engines, that speed could have been achieved. I know this will be rebuffed, because it will be said jet engines were not capable of those speeds at that time in our technology. But, hey, I don't care! It is just another of my opinions.

------------------------------------

Well bust my buttons and fuck my granny’s she-goat hamster! Yee haw! Cue the bunch of fuckwit no-life anoraks who are now going to line up to tell him just what he has predicted that they would (because of course, nothing’s new and we’ve been here before) and that historically what he claims is impossible. And those that do step forward are US govmint paid stooges who’s job it is to keep the UFO myth going. See who they are and shame them. Pull down their pants and paint their willies purple.

And so by a sequence of coincidences and errors in the space of two weeks did begin in America the biggest con job ever foisted on the public of the world.

Well Fuck My Ass And Sit Me Down

2007-05-08T13:57:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought the world was a safe place, where boundaries divided the mad from the sane, and where values like “It may be a quiet news day but I shan’t shovel shit” held sway, someone you admire, in this case Greg Bishop, goes and acts like a complete tosser and gives credibility to the biggest load of ass wiping pig shit to hit the Net for oooooooooh, at least a week. Out of concern for your health I ask if you are mentally exhausted after reading that last sentence because it was quite long. I am referring to this swill fest of unoriginal urinal white colored piss

http://www.ufomystic.com/wake-up-down-there/ufo-intelligence-interest/

Its shite with a capital “S”. Yeah, I know, but I couldn’t be bothered to go back and correct it.

I’m getting exhausted reading all of Dear Old Don’s postings on Updates at the moment. Why, there’s just so many of them. But at least I’m grateful for small mercies because Hootsmon Martin Shoveoff isn’t currently saying anything. Boy, is Martin a long winded, boring, lugubrious, sour faced, pathologically sad fuckwit of a show-off or what.

UFOs Come To Us All

2007-05-04T02:00:00.000-07:00

It is utterly reprehensible and frankly quite nauseating to mock and ridicule a man simply because he has moved into old age and his mental faculties may not be what they once were. It is even worse when that person is Dick Hall and you recall and take into account not only his immense contribution to Ufology but also the fact that he was actually part of the story at critical moments in its development and history. Anyone that could resort to that level of behavior deserves nothing but the utmost contempt and on that basis, I am happy to announce that I think Dick Hall is totally crackers. Utterly and completely lost it and the best thing he could do is shut the fuck up and let us all remember him as the aggressive nasty little piece of work that we all loved and cherished.

This was his last posting to UpDates about the Guernsey UFO:

I think an even more pertinent question is, did the object move at all? No mention is made of any motion.

Oh it had a motion Dick, an immense one. It dropped 50 tons of alien shit right into the middle of the English Channel which caused a Sue Army which in turn resulted in the earthquake that hit Kent.

If it just "hovered" there and didn't do anything extraordinary, than I am reluctant to call it a "UFO" and am inclined to suspect a local solution, something like a tethered balloon.

I see. UFOs don’t ever hover it would seem. Unless the thing is darting around doing an impression of a demented house fly high on the effects of bleach, then it’s not a UFO. It’s a balloon. The most polite way I can describe this observation is stupid.

I'm not suggesting that as a definitive answer,

Then why the fuck did you say it, you half wit.

only an hypthesis

I thought long and hard about whether to correct the spelling mistake and in the end, I decided not to, as you can see.

that needs to be explored.

But I bet your bottom dollar you aren’t going to bother doing it, you lazy good for nothing waste of space.

Don is right;

Whoa there; two out and out indiscriminate believers all in the same posting. I’m getting giddy.

Secret military technology as a knee-jerk skeptical explanation is horse manure.

I wouldn’t knock horse shit until you’ve tried it cobber. Of all the manure that animals excrete, that’s the one that grabs my culinary interest the most.

But the pilot's size estimates obviously are guesses based on assuming various distances and even then assuming a real size.

No twat features. He stopped his plane mid-air, got out, walked through the clouds to the UFO and measured it. His statements about size are about as accurate as you can get. Happy?

There is no UFO-like performance indicated,

Oh fuck off. We’re not back with this shite again are we?

so a local explanation is a reasonable suspect.

Meaning what? Grab hold of the nearest person you can find and ask him what he thinks on the basis that he’s a local? Is that why you were such an ace investigator when you could remember your own name? God save us.

ALIENS OVER GUERNSEY; “WE’RE ONLY HERE FOR THE SHOPPING”

2007-05-03T04:18:00.000-07:00

If you know anything about the Channel Islands, then you will know that the only redeeming feature about that collection of outcrop that should really be part of France but which mysteriously the French have never asked for, is that there is no sales tax in the shops. Ergo it follows that the same goods in the shops there should be miles cheaper than the equivalent on the UK mainland. The fact that they’re not is a testament to the thieving mentality of the robbing bastards who control retail merchandising on the islands.

This message though has clearly not reached alien visitors to planet earth who can only have gone hovering over Guernsey because they think earth goods are better value there. It has to be that because I cannot think of any other reason why they would want to go there, can you?

Furthermore, there’s even less reason for aliens to visit the UK now following the disclosure that the British Ministry Of Defence, that bastion of secrecy and deception that has manifestly kept hidden for the last 60 years details of British contact with ET, is going for full disclosure and is going to release all its files for public scrutiny. Speaking personally, I’d rather they didn’t do this because regretfully I will now be able to see that actually there are no such things as aliens, just a bunch of unexplained events that have occurred to some really stupid people who can’t tell their ass from their elbow. I would prefer the mystery and hint of conspiracy was maintained so that I can continue to have a porpoise to my life.

On another matter, it distresses me to report that the web site UFO Digest which generally is full of almost acceptable crap has recently decided to climb to the top of the slide and go for the downward run to the bottom with a vengeance. To start with, they’ve got some clown called John Milor who always starts his articles sounding as if he’s going to talk common sense but just when he’s pulled you in, words like “Genesis” and “God” start to appear and amid the groans that you can hear yourself uttering in self directed disgust at having been suckered in yet again, you find yourself saying out loud, “Fucking Americans and their Neolithic religious fixation”. So to any Americans reading this, I say “Fuck God”.

To add to the general distaste of what Dirk Von De Plonk is doing at his site, he has another writer called, wait for it……………………….. Art Champoux. I kid you not. Art apparently is a UFO investigator of some standing. “Some standing” suggests he’s had a permanent erection for the past 30 years. I mean puleeze, no one but no one gets called Art Shampoo.

Whilst we’re on the subject, have you had a look at the picture of the young Brit he’s got writing for him called Sam Willey? Actually, isn’t Willey a bad word? Oh no, sorry, that’s willy. Shucks. Has someone sat on Sam’s head?

And finally, working with Ufologists is like working with children and animals; basically, they’re gob shite stupid. There goes poor old Patrick Huyghe and Dennis Stacy of Anomalist books, nice enough guys as they come, who have just published an interesting new book on the Betty and Barney set-to called Encounters at Indian Head: The Betty and Barney Hill UFO Abduction Revisited. The problem with what is no doubt an excellent book is the fact that it has been co edited by the current biggest Ufological fuckwit going, namely Karl Pflock, and that rather detracts from the book’s credibility. One can only hope for Patrick and Dennis’s sake that the hamster wheel of ufology will turn quickly and that Karl will hop off and be replaced by some other brain dead retard who wants to draw attention to himself for reasons to do with mental health issues.

UFOs Are Messengers of Satan

2007-05-01T09:30:00.000-07:00

Do you understand what makes Victor Martinez tick? I mean, what exactly is the chain of thought of someone who spams like he does? How do you get from the story of Serpositary to “Ladies; Your Tits Are An Aid to Dietary Control” and assume that someone who is interested in one will be interested in the other? You know, I bet you Victor lives alone. As you will know, on this blog we do not discriminate or make fun of those from ethnic minorities; we are, all of us, after all, all from the same big happy family of man but in Vic…………….oh shit…………………………………………………………………….…………… raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalph. Slurp. Haven’t fucking done that for a while.

Bessie Brazel? Didn’t she used to play piano in a bar in Lubbock dressed as Errol Bruce Knapp’s curmudgeonly pet spankmesiter? I mean, 60 fucking years on and only a deranged Frenchman, an eye specialist who can’t see the wood for the trees, and a bunch of hopeless fuckwits who enjoy rimming each other could possibly still be interested. It just beggars complete and utter belief. SHUT THE FUCK UP!

My name is Tim Banal and I wear a big pith helmet. There is no point to it but then, why should there be? If there was a point to everything we did in life then I wouldn’t be walking around with this dildo shoved up my ass, would I? I interview people and I am “of America” apparently. Christ, getting a fucking life pal.

As my penis always says to me, "Artie, if you can't say something nice about someone, then think of something beastly instead" and so, on that point, I would just like to wish our dearest Kimblings the very best for his premier and hope it goes well.

Flying Saucerwankery; Arthur’s Back

2007-05-01T07:37:00.000-07:00

I notice there is talk of my death, Andy Roberts, pain, diarrhea, and other unpleasantness in my absence. The cats away and you lot come scurrying out to take advantage. But I cannot be angry for I see that you have been enjoying yourselves and carrying on with the fine principles and traditions previously established here. And so I say; good luck to you.

So, where have I been, you might ask. I’ll tell you freaking where; in Despair. It’s just been too awful to contemplate. Mine is a tragic but uncomplicated story that won’t take long to relate, for it goes, quite simply, like this. It’s all turned to absolute fucking, god awful shite.

And what’s more, having not purged myself for a while of my pent up frustration and exasperation, it has now culmatively swelled to such a massive, throbbing, pulsating climax of spermatozoal puss that I fear I have lost complete control and it will erupt in a monster wave of white bile that will shoot skywards for miles and then will take ages to slowly trickle downwards and back to earth with the result that you’ll be wiping it off your terminals and keyboards for months to cum. So be it.

But………..where to begin?

Useless Fuck Orifice magazine, aka UFO twattycuntybollocks drivel has now sunk below the line it’s possible to sink to. There cannot be any sane person interested in the subject who actually reads this piss poor magazine any longer because other than the title, what actually does the publication have in common with the subject any more? Last time I looked, the main article seemed to be some garbage about a night club singer. Duh? There’s someone else in there that looks like Worzel Gummidge but might actually be a little furry hamster that ferrets around the English language like a demented, garrulous, non stop fart machine and then there’s Regan Lee. Okay we’ll leave that one for now.

And the paper that the whole shambolic mess is printed on? Give it to Sheryl Crow, she’ll know what to do with it.

And aren’t you all traumatized by the fact that little Lesley’s cable connection was recently knocked off. Well, if you won’t pay the bill you silly cow, what do you fucking expect, you cretinous, useless asswipe? Back to Starbucks with you. Your absence may have got you as wound up a cat’s gut on a banjo but it gave the rest of us a blessed fucking break from the shite awful mess and your “it takes six hours to load” web site.

D’yaknow? I’m beginning to feel better already.

Get Out While You Still Can Clark – With A Shred Of Dignity

2006-12-22T09:34:00.000-08:00

It’s a truism; you often become the thing you hate most. Snake Oil Salesmen flatter to deceive. They get you looking in one direction while they pick your pocket from the other. They have no substance and because they have nothing, they puff their chests out and talk loudly.

When you strip away the camouflage of Clark’s recent contributions to the List, the bluster, the swaggering, the bullying, the strutting, the badly concealed insults, you are left with simply this; I am cleverer than you, I am right because I have been doing this for longer, you are stupid.

If there ever was anything approaching intellectual gravitas attached to Jerry Clark, it has now sadly gone, flushed away with his vanishing talent and his disappearing presence. Mr. Boom Boom Man, pay heed. If you have anything approaching an iota of self respect, then get out now while you still can, before its too late and some of us start calling a spade a spade.

Jerry Clark is an Orang U Tan with a Lobotomy

2006-12-19T13:39:00.000-08:00

I’m either guilty of the Lehmberg disease of ass licking or of not paying attention. I’ve either thought in the past that Jerry Clark is a Ufological god and that anything he said was filled with words of wisdom or……………I’ve just never bothered to read properly and take in what he’s actually been saying all these years. There’s one other alternative: recently he’s started to show his intellectual age and is turning into another Dick Hall. In other words, a humorless, shallow, tunnel-visioned, arrogant, ignorant reactionary. To be fair to me, it’s probably the latter.

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/dec/m19-011.shtml

What a knob head! What a pompous twatimus. Above all, what a profoundly stupid man, a really, really stupid man. Its not often I get to say that about anyone, because I always make allowances, but in his case I won’t as he has the intellectual range to know better.

Because this is a man who knows, and he knows what the rest of the “real” world doesn’t know, namely that the answer to everything is the ETH. And because he knows this to be right, everything else is wrong and, in the case of say cryptoterrestrials, it’s even brainless. Jerry Clark says it’s brainless, so it must be. This mind you from the man who thinks those silver discs in the sky contains living aliens. Fuckwitterry arrives early for Christmas.

Clark, you’re a fucking moron. Piss off.

I Hope Santa Claus Gets His Dick Stuck Up Rudolph's Ass: Fuck Christmas!

2006-12-14T13:06:00.000-08:00

Remember the Alex Harvey band and their version of Delilah? Remember the video and the band member dressed as a mouse who would at one point hop in an exaggerated manner, in time to the music, across the stage towards the perennially drunk Alex? It was funny. And the whole charade is being played out before our eyes years later, again, as we watch Alf do the hopping dance with Kimbling.

Alfred doesn’t hate anyone anymore. He long gave up on Rimmer, who he would dog religiously at every turn. And of course Kimbling was the most disgusting individual ever to have had two feet planted on this planet. How could Kimbles even have the audacity to actually breathe, so appalling an example of the human species was he?

The hopping dance you are observing on Updates right now is the sight of Alfred making friends with Paul. Paul and Alfred. That sounds nice, doesn’t it?

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/dec/m12-001.shtml

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/dec/m13-001.shtml

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/dec/m13-009.shtml

But why? Is it that Alfred is growing old maybe? Has he grown up and realised there are more important things in life than whatever? Does he just not care anymore? Actually, does anyone care anymore? While it is “that time of the year” I still think the lethargy this year has not only set in early but may well be terminal.

There is no passion, there is no anger, there is nothing. We’re fucked.

You are probably watching the final death throes of Ufology.

Ufologically Speaking, Why the World Hates America

2006-12-07T13:31:00.000-08:00

Albuquerque. A strange name in a strange place. In Albuquerque lives a woman called Lesley. She doesn’t get out much. She’s interested in UFOs and she does a daily blog news thing about them. One day she discovered there was something called foreigners. She was puzzled. She worked out that foreigners live somewhere else, usually not in the same country as her and they either spoke English with a funny accent or, and this was really difficult for her to get her head round, they didn’t actually speak English at all. How could that be? And, where else was there to live if you didn’t live in the USA? In the sea? In Russia with all the communists or that place called Eyerack with the tourists?

She puzzled about this and it caused her angst. And then one day there was a loud metal hitting wood kind of noise inside her head. She realized it was the sound of a penny dropping. It was like a religious revelation: There are other people in the world and they have UFOs too. Hallelujah

http://www.binnallofamerica.com/gm12.5.6.html

God preserve me please. I can’t take it any longer.

Is Jerome Clark Humpty Dumpty In Disguise?

2006-12-03T02:35:00.000-08:00

There are countless different excuses for UFOs. For example, I enjoy those alternative civilization theories as suggested by Tim Good or Ed Gerhman and/or countless others which run along the lines of they’re either here now and living in the Antarctic or the hollow earth or in a massive spaceship hidden up there, or they were here ages before us, and so on. The detail doesn’t actually matter; the point is in the principle. Why do people go there as opposed to the ETH? Do they run into a personal brick wall with regards to long distance space travel? Is it because the concept of life on another planet somewhere else is too strange and yet the idea of another civilization living parallel to us or having lived here before and vanishing without leaving any evidence whatsoever seems, to them, to make more sense?

Who knows? I do not subscribe to any of these theories in any of their variations although I have no particular objection to them. People are entitled to believe what they want and you can’t truly reject anything in this game simply because you just don’t know - you can never tell. I’m still recovering from the shock of reading this from our current Bette noir, Mr. Jerome Clark. I was so taken a back

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/nov/m30-002.shtml

that I knocked my bedside lamp over in a panic and spilled a drink all over my bed sheets. More stains to get Biddy all worked up! At first I thought this posting was quite remarkable in that there was much I could learn from it for alas, my way of dealing with something or someone I consider negative is to respond aggressively. Clark appeared to have achieved much the same affect as I would, arguably more so, by an admirably slimy and understatedly silent, bigoted diatribe.

Yet it is so narrowly focussed (towards the ETH despite his cautious qualifications in the past), and so close minded that it becomes an unintentionally self parodying satire. The most eloquent and articulate means I can summon to describe it is; it’s a fucking joke. Even allowing for all the silliness about Creighton and Keel, the fact is, the Man from Can, however much he might waffle on about it, does not and cannot know for sure that Keelian thoughts on demonology are wrong. He can only have an opinion and to dismiss other trains of thought as aggressively as he does, based not on the logic of his own reasoning but on the metal stability of the person he is attacking is, frankly, stupid and ignorant.

Eventually I woke up and realised that in fact Clark’s approach is no different from mine; it's just couched in another way and is much more disingenuous. His was a blatant and vicious personal attack on Bob Shell who, it must be admitted, is always fully deserving of such behvior. But then Clark had the chutzpah to come back afterwards and allege that it was no such thing. Perhaps yet again I am wrong about him and this is some subtle satire of us all where fundamentally he is treating us all as idiots as he jinxes and twists and turns this way and that, dragging us emotionally all over the place. That I could go for and I would like.

Or perhaps it simply means the man in a pompous burke. After all, he has birthdays and he doesn’t help us.

Are We All Mad?

2006-11-28T09:38:00.000-08:00

I still can’t get over all that happy birthday Gerry crap. If that’s what the List has come down to, time to pack it all up and go back to our burrows to die peacefully.

I cannot stand those intolerant, arrogant, narrow thinking, frightened little turds who take every opportunity afforded to them to knock so called believers. Aaron Sulky-Bitch of The Triangle is one such that comes to mind. I don’t have a problem with people who hold views that are contrary to mine as long as they are held honestly. I thought I ought to write that last sentence because it’s the thing to do, isn’t it. You know, make yourself look reasonable and fair and all that shit. I do actually have a problem with anyone whose views are divergent to mine because it means they are wrong and stupid, and I can’t bear wrong and stupid people.

But assholes like Sulky-Bitch do it just to get up the tits of other people. They are so overwhelmed with what they see as the stupidity of “belief” that they just have to weigh in on the other side. They are nauseating. If nothing else with Sulky-Bitch, you have just got to ask yourself whether its right that someone who is as god damn plain out and out ugly as that twat is, has any right to be seen out in public, let alone be given a pubic platform. Jesus blessed Christ – all that’s missing is the fucking acne. That man will get to 60 or 70 and still look like some sap of a college loser who could never get laid. You could take that hair off his head and make long lasting matting or carpeting out of it.

Another fucking waste of space who attacks not just believers but the whole concept of UFOs is Rich Reynolds, now struggling for breadth yet again over at The Iconalist. Reynolds pumps out the same message time and time again with barely any alteration in the wording. Here though the motive is clear; it is malice. “I wanted to be accepted as a bigwig by the other bigwigs at UFO UpDates. They rejected me. I will anger them by saying these things. Also, I am too stupid to realise that although my words had some sort of impact first time round, I am now completely ignored and no one pays any attention to me any more except for idiotic fucks like this Arthur lunatic.” To describe Reynold’s actions now as sad would be an understatement. “Desperate” is more appropriate. Do us all a favor Rich and slit yer wrists.

The worst offender however in this league of imbeciles who attacks believers just for the sake of causing a stir is me. I truly cannot stand retards like myself because what marks me out as different from the dicks above is that they probably operate at some level of emotion. That doesn’t offer them an excuse but it does give an explanation of sorts for their totally reprehensible behaviour. Arthur has no such reasoning behind what I do. His actions, my actions, are cold and manipulative. I’m a bastard of the lowest order and although I love myself very much, I find people like me absolutely disgusting. I am beyond description and I simply cannot find the appropriate words. Take that crap I wrote yesterday. Do I believe it? Then why did I write it? To be controversial?

Actually, I’m a little uncomfortable telling you about this but there is a real reason after all, and it might go some way to explaining a few other things that have gone on around here. I have a multiple personality disorder and at the last count, Herman, my shrink, advised me that he had counted 6 different personalities that have surfaced in my sessions with him. At the moment I am writing this as Gerald who is a truly charming guy, although it was Arthur that started this blog and who seems to be the UFO buff. Biddy is a separate person so don’t get confused with that. And all of this brings me rather neatly round to this:

Are We All Mad?

Speaking of Eleanor White as we were, I got to wondering at just how much mental dysfunction or personality disorder there is within the UFO/paranormal community. I bet ya there’s a bit! There’s an interesting, admittedly subjective separation to be made. In my opinion, the concept and idea of extraterrestrial life is, and always has been a perfectly sensible and sound idea to pursue and to investigate. The proposition that life from other planets may have even visited here is also a perfectly respectable and valid thesis to consider and to investigate. I really can’t see how any sensitive thinking individual could argue otherwise.

So why then is it a subject that attracts nutters like myself? Answer; because the subject, despite its obvious status as a legitimate matter of consideration, has been successfully manipulated into a position of absurdity and because it’s absurd, only mad people get involved with it. And so, Ipso facto, if only mad people get involved with it, then it comes to pass that mad people do indeed get involved with it.

There can only be one answer and response. FUCK OFF.

Happy Birthday to Jerome Clark

2006-11-28T06:17:00.000-08:00

See this shite:

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/nov/m27-003.shtml

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/nov/m28-002.shtml

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/nov/m28-003.shtml

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/nov/m28-004.shtml

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalph.

God, that was a good one. Filled the bucket. Sick stick Biddy……………thank you my cherub. Uuuuuuum pasta of some sort, though I don’t remember eating any, though ain’t that always the way, cucumber, bit mouldy now though, aaah the dog food from this morning etc.

Alfred, do you have any semblance of self esteem left? Anything remotely resembling pride? Does the world have enough toilet paper left to wipe the brown stuff of his nose?

Sheeeesh

Anyone Who Believes This Shit Needs A Hemispherectomy

2006-11-27T04:40:00.000-08:00

Is this poster a madman? Is he insane? Does he live in a world of make believe where fairies come out to play each sunlit evening and show their naughty bits to any one who gives them a dime?

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/nov/m26-001.shtml

From: Dale Ulmer <dale200499@yahoo.com>
To: ufoupdates@virtuallystrange.net
Date: Sat, 25 Nov 2006 09:15:02 -0800 (PST)
Subject: BBC News MoD & Illinois UFO

The following is an e-mail I sent to BBC News:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4981720.stm

http://www.ufocasebook.com/illinoissightings.html

Mr. Mark Simpson should contact the Ministry of Defence and inform them on the Illinois incident where 4 police officers witnessed an incredible and huge craft. This is only one account of actual _real_ sightings.

In my opinion the report by the MoD is an unrealistic and unreliable piece of information considering the countless reports of numerous credible witnesses all over the entire globe.

A follow up by BBC should be performed on the determination of the existance of UFOs by the MoD.

BBC should investigate such reports by asking the MoD to do an investigation into the Illinois incident which I have provided a link to in this email. BBC should also conduct an investigation into these sighings as well and have their own conclusive report to compare with the MoD.

If we are to gain anything from the UFO phenomena then news agencies have to be willing to step into the light with courage and find the truth.

Oh puleeze. Anyone who has ever looked at that case knows that it was simply a USAF B748 dirigible, a now defunct and no longer used method and means of cargo conveyance.

Ulmer seems so desperate that he actually sounds like he’s ordering the BBC to do something about it. YOU WILL INVESTIGATE OR ELSE! This clown is an out and out believer. I can’t stand those blind, dumb, ignorant bastards. They believe we are being visited by aliens from other worlds. Any half baked, half assed cretin knows there is no such thing as intelligent life anywhere else and we’re alone, entirely and completely alone. Hell and fuck, there’s almost certainly no other life of any kind anywhere else in the whole freaking universe.

We are special here on earth. We were created by God and before you scoff, although I am religious, I don’t mean it in a religious sense. I’m not one of those ass-wretching, fucking dewy eyed evangelical head-in-the-sand types. But c’mon, you’re not going to tell me, however long Nature had to get it right, that all of this, this paradise that we live in, wasn’t designed by some powerful and very clever entity? Because if you are going to tell me that, you’re a fucking moron.

OK then moron, show me the proof then that we’ve been visited by other bright life. Go on. And wait just a mo; before you start shipping out by the bucketload all that crap about landing traces, half drunk or really dumb witnesses, photos, film and shit, let me tell you that I’m not really interested in any of that. Why? Because it’s all garbage. Truly, utter fucking, worthless garbage. Show me a living, breathing alien. Show me one of them and I’ll give you the time of day. Until then, shut the fuck up.

Ain’t nothing else anywhere else. It’s as plain and as simple as that.

REGAN TWATS ARTIE IN THE NUTS

2006-11-23T14:51:00.000-08:00

GUEST BLOG GUEST BLOG GUEST BLOG GUEST BLOG GUEST BLOG

THE ORANGE LUMP OF LARD

“Nothing matters. But then my brain hurts so why would it?”
Alfred Lehmberg

“I think women in Ufology is a great idea. I’m pretty much all of them”
Natasha Multipersonality

“So, I’m not a woman then? You bitch”
Lesley

“”Synchronicity”. Isn’t that a nice word?”
F. Lakey

posted by UFO Bits at Friday, November 24, 2006

0 comments (yet, but I’m expecting the ususal collection of freaks along in a moment)

IN YER FACE ARTIE!

Hello dahlings. Regan here. Little pipseekins Artie has asked me to guest host the blog today so it’s my turn to turn the tableaux. Giggle, titter.

First, my adoring pubic, some shameless plugs. Now I’ve got those in and every cavity is sealed, we can get on. Well now, where to start. I know, why not from where I always start!

Skeptipelicanheadbunkers are beastly people. They’re not as nasty as Artie ‘cos he’s a right jerk but they still are pretty mean, aren’t they? I can’t hear you. Can you shout louder please: aren’t they? Yeeeeeer!

Are ya all having a good time? Yeeeeeeeeeeer!!!

All this Ufology is really working up a sweat!

Yes, those skeptix. I never understand what point they’re trying to make because how can you deny something that so many people say exists and have experienced? It just doesn’t make sense that they can be so closed to human feeling and I feel sorry for them. Some say (well Arthur actually) that I don’t understand them because they are all cleverer than me and use words I don’t know. But they say one thing and it never makes sense and they are all over the place and things and time for tea soon. Cookies. Yummy.

OK. Women that moon at you while you are driving by are really annoying. If I want to see bare buttocks, I’ll go look at Artie’s face (Yeeeeeeeer). So this case I’m researching, I’ve forgotten the details because it’s so long ago (yesterday pm) but its got something to do with a big round thing that flies. Well, it’s really interesting and I’m going to do some research on it. I am. I’m a researcher.

At the moment I’m having a good run with big foot stuff. When I did the last lot Lozzenge mailed me and I’m always tickled pink when someone famous gets in touch. The thing about Bigfoot though is like the body hygiene thing, duh. I mean, hasn’t that guy heard about shaving? Try

http://wwwcracksacknback@cutnhack.com

Mind you, the thought of a ten feet tall “thing” in my boudoir makes my eyes water.

Some other stories you might like:

Rabbi says, “If ET Exists, He’d Go To Liberal Temple”
http://www.oiyveysmeir@shlong.com

Jewish Woman says, “Alien Monstered Me, Took Pictures, And Is Now Blackmailing Me Into Sleeping With Him Again, Otherwise He’ll Tell My Mortie”
http://www.shabbatshalom@kosherblat.com

The other day Paul Kimbles threw an orange peel at me. It wasn’t deliberate, he didn’t see me. But fancy him throwing one at little ‘ol me! Alfred threw a stogie at me once but that was deliberate so it doesn’t count.

OK. Here are all my other blogs. I’ve got one on Hellenic Art pre Grecian times, one for women who have been really brave and driven a car, another for coyotes cos I think nature’s wonderful, another in memory of dead chickens, (that’s enough – Arthur)

Masterful Shough Spanks Kasten and Makes me Come. Hang On. What the f…….

2006-11-15T07:23:00.000-08:00

Biddy here. I ran this headline back in October and it was a piece about how Mr. Kimbling had forcefully handled feisty Kathy Kasten and been so strong and firm about it that he made me come. No bones about it: there was a puddle on the floor that could have filled a tub!

This is the bit that tickled my pink bits:

Dodging responsibility for what you wrote is never a good sign either. Here is the full paragraph that you originally wrote:

"The point is that UFOs is the new mthology according to Bullard. I agree with him. There are individuals who have turned what could have been a scientific investigation into a belief in a myth.

"To summarize:

1. UFOs are "the new mythology" according to Bullard.
2. You agree with him.
3. Individuals have turned what could have been a scientific investigation into a belief in a myth.

Now, to me at least, that reads as follows: "UFOs are the new mythology... it could have been a scientific investigation, but it isn't, because individuals (presumably ufologists, as you don't indicate that they are somehow exempted) have turned it into a belief in a myth."

Then yesterday, in response to a posting from Kasten, Martin Shough does this:

Anyway Robert Morningstar (how felicitous!) has proved to you that it is not Venus but a large anomalous object floating over the moon:

"The image of the 'Sky Object' shows it to be a very large, highly luminous triangular object floating above the lunar surface and apparently quite far beyond the lunar horizon. This would indicate that the object was very large."

In other words, it's a very large object so it must be far beyond the horizon, and because it's so far away and looks so big, well, it must be very large.

I accuse Mr. Shough of having come to this blog and of having read what I wrote. Martin; you are copying Kimbling’s style and have done so to ingratiate yourself with me. You think that because he made me come, you can do the same. Well I have news for you Marty; I might be easy but I do have some standards you know. For instance, I understand you are from the land of Scotland. Does that mean you wear a kilt? And does that mean you wear nothing under your kilt? And does that mean you dangle? And does that mean that when you walk, it swings around? Wait…………….. wait, give it a minute longer, wait..…………………….. Nope, sorry Martin, you just don’t do it for me like Kimbling does.

Does seem like a pattern is emerging though when replying to Kasten. BTW, don't forget, she's still got Alfred's balls in a little jar from the one time they tangled.

While I’m here and Arthur is off playing with himself (all he does most of the day) did anyone notice what a complete twat he made of himself yesterday dribbling on about Sparks? As I read what he wrote I thought, “Artie, are you writing about Sparks or are you writing about yourself? Cos bugger me if I can see the difference”. So Artie sees himself in Sparky, miserable bastard, and doesn’t like what he sees. I shall have to have a word.

Arthur Spits Some Spunk

2006-11-14T12:18:00.000-08:00

The Beast of UFO UpDates returns again, sadly. This very lame excuse for a functioning human being, devoid of anything remotely relating to social skills or class, popped up to respond, not surprisingly, to a posting from the Village Idiot. Some strange magnetic attraction perhaps? What The Idiot had to say was irrelevant (what’s new!) but it’s the sheer crappy stupidity of what the Beast says in reply that brings me to the conclusion that he is a prime, first class twonker.

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/nov/m13-011.shtml

Bottom line is that the online crowd may be "sane and rational" (which is disputable) but you do not have Nobel Prize winning scientists, not a single one, online 24/7 discussing UFO's and trying to solve the mystery, despite as you say the "diversity of sciences" required by the UFO subject.

Renowned theoretical physicist Michio Kaku is favorably disposed to the UFO subject as he stated in his ABC Peter Jennings interview yet he would not be caught dead on UFO UpDates or other Web forums on UFOs. Think about why these forums and web-based media outlets are so avoided by Nobel-caliber scientists.

Besides the "flaming" and the unrestrained, unpoliced postings by the insane and irrational (contra your "sane and rational") there is also the factor that the level of discourse is so low that such renowned scientists would have to reinvent the wheel every day, repeating themselves endlessly, proving the same points year after year because the points do not "stick" the first time. No one reads the fundamental textbooks before spouting off their ignorant nonsense in these Web forums.

Then there is the anti-intellectualism which prides itself in the UFO world as not needing the despised "science", the "scientific method", and scientists, that amateur methods are all that is needed to solve the UFO mystery.

He moans about “flaming”. Reprobative hypocrite: seen this guy go? Seen how progressively with each posting, as he pursues you he becomes more and more abusive, rising to a crescendo of dribble so that he can barely spit the words out?

And there’s more; the basic implication that everyone on the List is stupid and an amateur. Of course we are compared to you Bradley, you fine, upstanding specimen of ridiculousness. I don’t know about you but I have found as I have read his shite over the years that I get to wondering more and more about his private life. I conclude that what he is, is a classic case of some dworker who’s got himself divorced and who’s life is a pile of poo, and as such, he has withdrawn from any meaningful contact with other human beings and sits at his fucking computer every waking moment he’s got, hating absolutely everybody and everything and satisfying himself that he’s above the lot of us as he cybernetically communicates with his Vallee’s and Kaku’s and probably Hawking’s as well.

I don’t follow his logic either about the science thing. Science has had a look. It found some things of interest and questions that needed answering. It couldn’t go any further than that. What fuckwits like him want is for science to descend en masse and to do nothing else until he and his fellow chipmunks are happy. That is never going to happen because the subject isn’t that important and as has been said elsewhere, there ain’t no money in it. And neither will they suck seed anyway, and they know it.

And yet, despite what a shocking place that Updates List is, he cannot stay away. Puleeze. Another one to be taken out and shot. There is simply nothing remotely likable or warm about this man what so everl.

But there was some joy on UpDates today, some nachas. Despite my best efforts, Regan has posted again on the List and unlike the fuckwit before, a posting from the fragrant one is always a welcome gift on a gloomy day. She is a brave lady who is slowly but surely developing a pair on her. She should be applauded for her courage in the face of adversity, namely a retard like me. However, there are some concerns.

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/nov/m14-013.shtml

Interesting points Eleanor about the exopolitics movement. I've bounced around that topic for awhile; it seems like a good thing, well-meaning anyway. On the other hand, spending (er,wasting?) time on how to deal with ET assumes that there are ETs, and, that we'd know enough about them ("culture," etc) to interact productively. (It also assumes the government would allow "the folk" to get away with it. )It has veered off into Space Brother stuff. Because of that, a lot of investigators, researchers have ignored exopolitics. It's become pretty sillyto a lot of people.

I think we should keep going regarding efforts to get the government to release documents, etc. but at the same time I have that dollop of pessimism, and paranoia, even, that for everything released, there's a whole lot still hidden away. And even if they trotted out a flying saucer on CNN and world leaders somberly told us that this is a craft with outer space beings inside, I still wouldn't believe. Not all of it, anyway.

Still, despite that, I think working towards the release of information on UFOs from as many sources as possible is a good thing.

Firstly, notice she questions the reality of ET. Regan, you saucy cow; you are either one of us or you ain’t. Now I know you wouldn’t want to be one of us, but you know what I mean. I’m talking philosophically here. You’re either a complete fruit loop like the rest of us or you ain’t. WE BELIEVE!! If you don’t then there ain’t no place for you in proper blogland.

There are also concerns about the meaning of what you said. It can be summed up as follows: I want the government to release all their UFO secrets. When they do, I won’t believe them but I still want them to do it. Please. For God’s sake you silly woman, read what you’ve written before you send it out for public consumption. Moron.

And thirdly, I don’t think giving it out for sisterly empathy is a good enough reason to reply to a posting from Eleanor White. You don’t want to get too drawn in there. With Elly, there are only two conclusions you can infer:

Either Eleanor is right about what she says goes on with her friends and acquaintances and indeed herself, in which case then the world is a truly frightening place, OR Eleanor is simply completely and utterly mad and manages to conceal this by being able to write postings in a moderately “together” manner. Which is it? I know which one I go for.

And finally on a more serious note, notice Regan’s opening line about “bouncing around”. Are you bragging again sweetie? Just how large are you anyway dear? And do you have to flaunt it to a woman who may well be flat chested? Class, dahling, class.

Please Explain This To Me; Has Anyone Got Any Drugs?

2006-11-13T08:09:00.000-08:00

Now Greg Bishop’s OK. Great Benne book, seems like an OK guy.

He put this up on his blog last week:

Funniest thing I've seen in months
http://tinyurl.com/yhsdto

It’s a cartoon. If Greg is to be believed, I wouldn’t be able to carry on breathing while watching this.

So I watched it.

I can only assume that in order to find this as funny as Bish did, you need to be in a motel room “with a friend” and out of it.

If I’ve missed the point, somebody please tell me.

Alien Fuck

2006-11-11T09:00:00.000-08:00

Mood; back to a permanent erection

As if to confirm that this blog is no more than a disguised all male frat fest retreat for immature and aggressive young bucks, it is my pleasure to bring you the following URL.

What you will see, and I better warn you just in case you’re a Christian or you actually have detectable morals or ethics, is a porno site where different women are having sex with an alien. A dickless alien to boot. This necessitates the employment of an artificial phallus which has a remarkable similarity to the alien’s own body coloring. I wonder if it might be really his and he lost it in some UFO crash somewhere and they couldn’t sew it back on so they pickled it and get it out on his birthday or something?

UFO The Sex Files
http://hotspot.blogbugs.org/79798/UFO-The-Sex-Files.html

It can take a while to load so do be patient. If you have to wait, why don’t you get your dick out and prepare your load while your computer is doing the same thing. Synchronisity. Aaaaaaah.

The women are, how shall we say, not exactly inspiring though I am rather disturbed by the relatively young ages of some of them. This probably accounts for the fact that the expression on the alien’s face throughout barely changes and I wonder if he found the whole experience an ordeal? This couldn’t be a case of alien rape, could it? Oh, how awful. Perhaps we need to stage an intervention. And yet, there are times when there seems to be real tenderness between Dickless and his female partner so perhaps I have rushed to judgement.

Health warning; please do point anything directly at your computer screen. It is unhygienic.

Ooooooh Mummy, Mummy, There’s A Man With A Big Dick At The End Of My Bed

2006-11-10T12:50:00.000-08:00

Mood: alien

Tonight Arthur offers an opinion. He offers an opinion most of the time but he feels like giving himself airs and graces and so is calling this “An Opinion”. Fucking wanker.

“If I’m not there to be the guardian of the gate, then anything nasty can creep in and get at you. The aliens are coming, your government doesn’t care, and you’re going to get eaten up by a big horrible monster.”

http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-1240382,00.html

The first and pretty much only thought that flew through my mind when I woke up dis mornin' and read all this gob shite was, “Pope is making a twonker out of himself”. True, he doesn’t quite say as much, but not far off.

So, my opinion is, Pope you’re a twat.

What depth, what perspective!

UFOLOGICAL TOUPEES

2006-11-08T07:50:00.000-08:00

Mood: anticipatory

It is a working necessity, if a practicing Ufologist, to acquire a toupee if as a result of age or excessive masturbation, you begin to lose your hair. If you don't wear one then there is a serious risk, if calling upon a UFO witness who might be in a fragile state of mind due to their sighting, of tipping them over the edge into madness. If they open their front door and are greeted by the sight of a grinning, bald headed twatipotomus who may also be wearing spectacles that greatly magnify his eyes, the witness could think that one of the aliens on the UFO he had just seen had come round to finish him off. Speaking of which, Biddy always finishes me off but she is very considerate in that direction.

But I digress. Obviously we don’t want witnesses to have heart attacks as a result of opening the door to us. We’ll need them later to help prop up our fragile case when we come under attack on UFO UpDates. So it is essential to appear as normal as possible in our public presentation, even if underneath we are, as is likely what with being Ufologists ‘n all, far from normal. Toupees are the answer!

Some people in Ufology have been very far sighted and are already wearing them. Every so often we will spotlight one such person and hold them up to public ridicule, I’m sorry; I meant to say we’ll put them in the public spotlight. So that the bright light can shine on any outstanding bald bits and make them look even dumber.

Our first spotlightee is author and professional idiot Robert Collins. Robert wrote the marvellous book, Copy Editing? You Must Be Having A Laugh along with a bunch of other retards. We spoke to him:

A. Hi Robert; why do you wear a toupee?

RC. Because I’m bald.

A. Do you think you fool anybody with it?

RC. Yes. Everybody. Nobody has guessed before you.

A. Are you married?

RC. Yes.

A. Didn’t your wife comment?

RC. No, she didn’t notice. I should mention though that she’s blind.

A. If she wasn’t blind, do you think she would notice then?

RC. No, it’s a very good toupee.

A. Actually, you do know it looks like there’s a dead cat sitting on your head?

See http://alienseekernews.com/researchers/collins.jpg

RC. What breed?

A. Siamese/Persian cross.

RC. That’s OK then.

A. You also look very shiny in that picture Robert. Cadavers look a lot like that after the undertaker has got through with them. Do you mind me asking; are you dead?

RC. No, I use a sun lamp a lot.

Well that’s that then.

Some people take the wearing of a toupee to a fashion extreme and wear one even if they don’t need one. Some people wear “bald toupees” whereby they might have a full head of hair but wear a toupee to convey the impression they are completely bald.

Here is an example of one such person:

http://www.presidentialufo.com/Image22.gif

And finally, that brings us nicely round to Alfred Lehmberg’s beard.

http://alienview.net/alcolor.jpg

A dermatologist writes:

“Mr. Lehmberg’s facial hair displays unusual characteristics. The curvature, texture and general strength of the displayed furze strongly suggests to me that that this is not in fact a genuine beard. The overall trait implies that the hair is from the scrotal and anal area of Mr Lehmberg’s body and that he has meticulously extracted each follicle and pasted it on to a gauze sheet which he adheres to his face on a daily basis. This requires some dedication as I would imagine the “wig” would be quite uncomfortable to wear, and that is aside from the smell which I would think would be overpowering. I am not familiar with Mr. Lehmberg but why he would want to go to so much trouble as to convey the impression that he is a wood pixie I do not know.

IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE IN UFOLOGY WHO WEARS A TOUPEE, DO LET ARTHUR KNOW

The Worm Turns And Other Housekeeping Items

2006-11-06T13:58:00.000-08:00

Mood; Loving and tender.

I am aware how penile orientated we have been here recently. It isn’t good. We are grown men, most of us, and it is extremely infantile to be as obsessed with our appendages as we have been. And I know I take the blame for this as I am the one that sets the tone. So I feel it is right that we take this matter in hand and put it to bed once and for all. This is what I am suggesting:

On Friday the 10th November at 7:00pm EST (so make the appropriate adjustment time wise to wherever you are in the world), we will have a communal, international, world-wide penis “Hold In”. Wherever we are, we get our penises out for two minutes at that moment in time, clean the tops off, maybe apply a little light dusting with a rouge brush or something, put a shine on, make them presentable, and then put them away forever, at least here on this blog.

If you are a female, you are welcome to join in just by getting a mirror out and having a preen and a prod of your nethers. Have you ever actually looked at yourself? Sigh, so few do. But do not be ashamed for it is but the human body. If you want to share this experience via a web cam, then personally, I wouldn’t have any objections.

And then that’s it; no more genitalia references here ever again.

---------------------------------

I have donned my tin helmet and taken up the brace-yourself position. We are about to be bombarded here on this blog by an angry reader, and it could get rough.

Regan is on the warpath and she’s spittin’ feathers.

Apparently you lot have been lying about her and I have been using libel, slander, and silliness in this “circus of wonder”. Perhaps I am the ringmaster as I usher into the sawdust covered arena, with a trumpet fanfare and a twirl of a baton, the odd assortment of freaks and malcontents who display their skills and their nail clippings at this temple to the ludicrous for all the public to see.

http://ufobits.blogspot.com/2006/11/special-orange-orb-exclusive-fun-facts.html

Regan is going to expose herself to me, or maybe she’s going to expose me, one or the other, who knows. Whatever, I hope she exposes something. No hang on, I know what it is; she's going to shout at me.

I don’t know what she means by “silliness” but maybe, as Biddy pointed out, it could be something like this:

On Thursday, Regan posted a blog entitled Are UFOs Sticky?

http://ufobits.blogspot.com/2006/11/are-ufos-sticky.html

Well, are UFOs sticky? I can only speak for myself dear but I have to concede that they might be if I kept coming all over them.

But I can’t see the point frankly, unless this is some clever, newly discovered method to prevent and hinder alien abduction. Smearing spermatozoa all over a UFO? Who’d have thought!

Do we now need to go back through the literally thousands upon thousands of witness statements, relocate all those poor, troubled people again and ask them if the UFO they saw was sticky, and, if they had come all over it, do they think that would have made the thing go away?

No matter, you go for it girl. I need putting in my place and I cannot blame you for your anger. Smack me about and belittle me (gosh, I do have issues) but please, don’t use bad language. I simply cannot abide someone using swearing and cussing to make their point. It shows an inability to articulate properly.

-------------------------------

No one is nasty to me here anymore. It might go some way to explain why Alfred has beaten me hands down as a troublemaker. It seems that deviant, anti social, sociopathalogical, aggressive behavior isn’t sufficient to be marked down as a twat. All you need to do is to take yourself seriously, which Alfred does, and that’s it. And there appears to be something about me which says to you that I don’t take myself seriously. But I do, I do. Shit, fuck; no I don’t. It’s so unfair.

--------------------------------

Can I direct you to Guy’s blog at http://oddempire.org/weblog/?p=214 which should take you to yet another thread about me and who I’m not. The man talks sense.

Greg and Kath – An American Love Story

2006-11-05T12:47:00.000-08:00

Mood; Flacid.

I am by definition a deconstructionalist. I break down, I don’t build up. The thought did cross my mind that all this negativity might be a bit wearing and that it might be a good idea to try to say something nice about someone for a change. But who? Who is there on UFO UpDates to say something nice about?

So off I go to the web site, UFO Updates, 100 latest messages, and my eyes scan down the list. You’ve got to be joking, right? I mean, I am stuck, totally stuck. Surely there has to be someone I can enthuse about.

I notice Nick Pope’s name. A Brit. I’m tempted to say “Another fucking Brit”. There’s a few on the List, scurrying around like rats with the plague, spreading pixie dust here and there. There’s the two Pelicanists plus attendant camp followers, “camp” being the word. Shough, who is Scottish and who has now become so boring as to potentially rival Frizz Chops. Miller - well OK’ish, Dickenson – a bit higglty pigglty, occasionalist David Haith, McGonagle, kerchung. Well, you can’t mention McGonagle without mentioning Pope, can you? McGonagle trails Pope round the List like a dog trailing a bitch on heat, his nose permanently stuck up Pope’s ass. So, Pope is a man under pressure. Why? McGonagle, Clark, Roberts, Anthony hate him. Do we care? Not really. Can we say anything nice about Pope? We’ll try.

Here goes. Nick Pope uses UFO UpDates to constantly remind us he is or was important by sending in posts that say, “I made this documentary in ……..” or “I will be appearing on this……………” or “When I was at the Sec Air 2 desk I…………..” and so fucking on and on.

Arthur.

Yes?

You were going to say something nice about Nick Pope, weren’t you?

I was.

Why haven’t you?

Because he’s an opportunist who rarely contributes, he just takes.

Is that what you think?

Yes.

Arthur.

Yes?

Would you like to revert back to type?

Yes.

This wasn’t very successful, was it?

No.

Why do you think that is?

Because the entire List are a bunch of wankers.

I see. OK, go and be nasty again.

-------------------------------------------------------

You should trust me. My instincts are pretty much always right. I have had occasion to make the odd marginally critical comment about Greg Boone and Kathy Kasten. He would fail a brain monitor test and she comes across like some demented harridan determined to punch above her weight which isn’t very significant in the first place.

Ufologically speaking, from an intellectual perspective they are ideally suited. Both talk sheer crap and have nothing to offer other than hysterical amusement and entertainment for the rest of us.

And so it comes to pass.

This from Thursday, in response to the Neurologically Challenged One’s previous effort along the lines of “Gee Wizz, let’s do the show right here”.

From: Kathy Kasten <catraja@msn.com>
To: ufoupdates@virtuallystrange.net
Date: Thu, 02 Nov 2006 17:32:02 +0000Subject:
Re: Ufology Mentalities

>From: Greg Boone <Evolbaby@aol.com
>To: ufoupdates@virtuallystrange.net
>Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2006 09:16:47 EST
>Subject: Ufology Mentalities

>We've all got our gripes and pet peeves when it comes to the types of
>mentalities that arise from ufological research.

>Some of these mindsets come from the public, some from the press,
>scientists, military, and of course other ufologists.

>The ones that set my teeth on edge are:

Thank gawd, there is another sane thinker out there. I thought I was all alone in the Universe.

KK

You are Kathy, you are. Thank gawd there aren’t any more like you.

But see, they’ve found each other. Do you detect a swoon on the part of Ms. Kasten towards Brain Dead? “Why Greg, you are so clever. You’re so knowledgeable, so worldly. Teach me Greg, Teach me. Greggie, how do I undo this bottle of peroxide Greggie? Oh, you’re so strong too”.

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalph

Well, I had to. Sick stick Biddy please, sick stick; Now what the fuck is that? Oh gee, I have got problems. And this bit is so elasticky, so stretchy. Twaaaaaaaaang. I’m not sure that should be in there.

Never mind.

I predict phone fucking to follow soon and an engagement to be announced by Christmas. You mark my words.

-----------------------------------------

Alas and alack, Alfred is brown nosing too.

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/nov/m05-001.shtml

This time I might use a bucket as doing it on the floor is so messy.

I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes
I’ve dropped a load of vomit
And now I need a blow.

Alfred are you busy?
Are you free to go?
Cos if you’re doing nothing
I think I’ll have that blow.

Somebody Stop This Man Before I Slit My Throat

2006-11-04T15:49:00.000-08:00

Mood: Permanent erection. Can’t seem to do a thing about it. Have taken the spoon to it, caught it in the door, etc. but all to no avail.

Update UFO UpDates blog is prepared to offer a reward of $500 to anyone who can successfully stop Eugene Frison from posting to the UFO UpDates mailing list. Ever again. Any means considered. He’s still at it, still waffling on and on and on. Its simply unbelievable.

A further $1000 will be given to anyone who can successfully stuff the cork from a wine bottle so far up his ass that it pops out of his mouth, purely as a punishment for the pain and agony that weasel farting, chin dribbling, neolithic chimpanzee brained, twaddle talking cretin has put us all through.

Well, me anyway.

The man is driving me stark staring mental. As you can see from yesterday’s posting, my state of mind is on a knife edge as it is, what with the tension over the Kimbling voting, but this man is destroying whatever will and joy I had left to live. He is killing me. Somebody stop the droning, malodorous, obnoxious, dick head of a twat before I get off my ass and hurl my fucking computer through the freaking bloody window.

Other than that, I do hope you’re all having a very pleasant weekend. After exhausting myself foaming at the mouth yesterday, I will rest tomorrow, Sunday, so that I can come back at ya fully revitalised and refuelled with a tank full of more top grade bile and nausea for another thrilling week of entertainment.

Well someone’s got to do it, haven’t they.

Lehmberg, you back stabbing, underhanded, cheating, puss filled, scurvy ridden self abuser.

2006-11-03T07:19:00.000-08:00

Mood: Like a diarrhoeic man desperate for a shit who’s had to hold it in for ages and then finally gets to a head; Explosive.

What in the name of sweet Jesus, his whore Mary, and the fucking gospel of Biddy, the holy saint of fellatio is going on? I mean, what the fucking, cunty, shitty faced twatting hell is happening here? I am livid, I seriously am. Just what has a scumbag of a human being like me got to do to actually get people to hate him enough to vote him the nastiest piece of faecal matter ever to be found on the heel of their shoes on fucking Kimbling’s blog?

http://redstarfilms.blogspot.com/2006/11/vote-for-2006-zorgy-awards.html

I’m batting along here doing my best to utterly revolt and disgust anyone that gets with in smelling distance of this place and fucking Alfred just sits there playing with his twonker and is matching me neck for neck, nay, now actually beating me. How do you do it you back stabbing, underhanded, cheating puss filled, scurvy ridden self abuser? How do you get people to hate you enough so that even when you aren’t doing anything in particular, they still turn out in their droves to nail ya? What’s the secret? Sheeeesh. Tell me; am I too nice?

Get on to the fucking page, seventh category down, and press “Arthur”. And don’t lie to me and tell me you’ve done it when you haven’t.

-----------------------------------------------------

Have you seen this load of posturing shit at Aliens Ate?

http://strangegrub.blogspot.com/2006/11/noviembre.html

Noviembre

To whom it may concern (if anyone),I have a novel to finish by the 30th of this month, so I may not be posting here as regularly, or in as much detail, as I'd like to. Nevertheless, I may have a few surprises in store for you, so keep checking back.

Best,
RDB

Oh fucking lah di dah. I’m a ponce and I’m writing a novel. Nyah, nyah. I have a deadline to meet, gosh, I must rush. Bags to pack, cats to shag, squirrels to cancel. Tell you what, you knobbing posturing asshole; stay away for November and for the rest of all eternity as well.

-------------------------------------------------

I am thinking of changing my name here to Anonyarthur out of empathy with the rest of you. But I have a question for you girlie boys out there. Will it make my ass look big? I can’t tell just by looking in the mirror. Be honest and don’t just say what you think I want to hear. After all, we're not women.

-----------------------------------

It suddenly hit me. Regan is among us. She has indeed assumed a masculine “Anony” identity and is parading around daring us to out her. We must not leave any stone unturned in order to expose her. Look for anyone with a moustache.

------------------------------------------

I know it’s a bit late because I’ve already done it but does anyone have any objections if I use the C word? It is only polite to ask and after all, I wouldn’t want to offend anybody. Do let me know.

---------------------------------------------

Who’s This?#4

We all knew it would end, did it ever really begin, there are no more UFOs and it was debateable if there were any in the first place. But those on UFO UpDates, and we won’t mention any names – we all know who they are – refuse to let go and persist in their petty ego buffeting and posturing, and by their presence block the progress of a subject that could develop into a genuine science. Has beens and past-their-bests like Clark and Hall………..

Actually, there is a deep sense of irony about Reynolds both in his views and in his present blogging effort.

http://ufocon.blogspot.com/2006/10/extinction-of-ufos.html

Let’s start with that. It carries a picture of a dodo as if to imply that that is exactly what Ufology is; dead as etc. It doesn’t strike him that everybody else views him in exactly the same way, and as irrelevant too. This latest blog is just another effort indistinguishable from the rest. There is nothing new and it’s sad.

The other irony about Reynolds was that he wanted the old guard out so that new people could come in with a fresher, more radical approach. Rightly or wrongly, age is a factor and he ain’t no spring chicken. His agenda was indeterminable, probably because there wasn't one, and his age would have prevented his acceptance into the mainstream anyway (fuck; an Alfred word). He wanted to be drawn in and cuddled but Wendy Connors and her honey puddle got in the way. Bababoom.

We move on. Next?

Vote For Me

2006-11-02T05:06:00.000-08:00

Mood today; farting like a fucking cow that’s not been milked for a week

Its erection time and Kimbling, he of the massive cock, is running some nonsense at his site called the 2006 Zorgy Awards.

http://redstarfilms.blogspot.com/2006/11/vote-for-2006-zorgy-awards.html

There is a section there entitled Best UFO / paranormal "Trouble-maker" and I am listed along with Nick Redfern and Alfred. Redfern is a joke because he does not cause trouble and…………… come to think of it, Redfern might have caused a few problems in the past, but lets leave that for the moment. Talking of jokes, you can also forget Alfred. So that leaves me, obviously the most unpleasant and malicious troublemaker currently striding around Ufology at the mo and thoroughly deserving winner of this title. So fucking vote.

And now a serious note; looking around the comments sections of various threads here, I notice that everyone seems obsessed with poor Regan Lee. This woman has been well and truly put through the wringer at this blog in a most unpleasant and unnecessary way. Whatever criticisms Ms Lee may or may not have made previously about men or male ufologists have been entirely borne out and confirmed by the antics of a few. What pleasure you small minded witless morons may have derived from mocking and intimidating a woman is more of a reflection on yourselves than anything else. Some of you have been nothing short of pathetic, particularly the idiot that thought it funny to deconstruct Regan’s self portrait in such a cruel and pointless way.

As the blog owner/author Regan, please accept my apologies.

And now on to happier and nicer things. I have a zit on my right testicle and want to squeeze it but am afraid of the pain. If there is anyone here called “Abby”, then please tell me what to do.

Oh, and I see that someone has let the village idiot out of the asylum again:

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/nov/m02-008.shtml

Somebody fucking tie him up in a sack and throw him over a bridge into a river. Puleeze.

A Tragedy of Sadness

2006-11-01T09:13:00.000-08:00

This thread should really be titled Twat The Fucking Useless Gerbil #2 but that would be too harsh. What I am writing about is something that requires delicacy and gentleness because it is tinged with sadness.

The recent and desperately still ongoing exchanges between Eugene Frison and Don Ledger, spread across at least two different threads and possibly three – I lost interest and couldn’t keep up – have been quite remarkable. “Remarkable” implies outstanding in the sense of quality but the reality is that they have been utterly pathetic. Rarely have I seen a man destroy himself and make himself look so utterly foolish as Eugene Frison has done. Its been like watching an articulate but imature child shoot himself in both feet. Don has just sat back, prodded the fire occasionally, and then let Eugene do the rest. If Don was a cruel man, which I doubt he is, he will now be laughing his proverbial head off. More likley he will just have permitted himself a smile.

The content of the exchanges don’t even seem to matter anymore and I’m certainly not going to dig all the material out and parade it here. One snippet in particular though does go a long way to explain a lot.

From Eugene: “Don't worry, I'll be very brief.” 70 lines later, this self obsessed idiot is still at it.

And as the argument/debate begins to unravel, because anything Eugene is involved with eventually does, it is always the same accusations from him;

“It is you who have deliberately misinterpreted what I said.”

“You have chosen to ignore the points I made about……….”

“How come you didn't respond to my questions concerning…………..”

“I, at no point, argued that…………….”

And so on.

The List needs a rest from Eugene for a while so that both he and we can forget a little.

Is Tim Printingshop Right After All? Can I Keep it Up?

2006-10-31T03:40:00.000-08:00

There is an art to writing these blog entries you know and a formula seems slowly to be taking shape. The first and most important point I try to decide on beforehand is the “fuck” quota. It can vary posting to posting and depends on intended impact. If I want to go right off the Penisonhead Aggressive Male testosterone scale then usually its about 15 or so fucks in a posting, but to be honest, I’m not sure that I’ve ever got to that many which makes me really question how angry and aggressive I truly am. As Printingshop asked elsewhere at this blog, is it possible to remain angry and plain repulsive and unpleasant for ever? Well, I’m going to damn well try, just for you boys and girls, because I know how much you appreciate it, but I ask for mercy and consideration if occasionally an element of “niceness” creeps in.

One such dollop of niceness is about to descend upon you, very much, really, like a lump of bird shit falling from the heavens, but it will be brief because I feel slimy and dirty for doing it. I wish to congratulate Mickeymous (Anonymous) for two very recent interesting postings in the comments sections. The first is message 20 in the outstanding Tedious Bunch of Retards posting, now sadly probably gone from the bottom of this page, in which he finally applies some reasonable common sense and logic and acknowledges that I am not Regan. On the other hand I could call him a slow witted slime oozing bundle of green snot because although he got there, he should have got there in the same fashion months ago. Idiot!

The other interesting posting from Mickey is in the thread below this, Is Regan Jewish? in which he posts a URL of a self portrait by the lady.

http://www.artwanted.com/imageview.cfm?id=203776&SubGal=Portraits

You will probably have to cut and paste to get it but it’s worth it because my God; Regan is a hottie, although she does have some issues. She has a funny yellow nose and the same coloring extends to the bags under her eyes, and also, her choice of hair shade is a bit bizarre. She’s heavy on the eyeliner too, although that is always, of course, a matter of personal choice and we wouldn’t want to be seen to judge regarding that. And for some reason, she has enormous triangles of brown on her cheeks but really I shouldn’t mention those either as they could be the remnants of some disfiguring childhood illness. Her nostrils stare back at you a bit eerily as well, almost as if they have a life of their own and are getting ready to speak. I wonder what would they say? Other than that, she is a very beautiful lady. Mind you, apparently it was a bad day.

Niceness over; Anonymous, you’re a twat.

You will be thrilled to know that I now have a Sick Stick, a gift from a helpful reader and it means that from here on, after I have been sick here, instead of fishing around in it with my fingers to search for items of interest, I can poke around instead with the stick which I’m sure you’ll all agree is much more hygienic. I look forward to my next heave. They are such exciting events.

Oh yes, I knew there was something else………UFOs. I knew this blog had a purpose. Shit, it’s gone dull on UpDates again, hasn’t it? Lehmberg, write a serious posting for Updates and make us all hysterical again.

I was going to "go" then but I remembered a couple of things. Firstly Regan I'm sorry, because this might begin to get tedious but you'll have to do a link to this thread too now.

And also, and this isn't a dig at anyone in particular, but what do you think of these self indulgent, up their own asses, inward looking, shallow, conceited, vain, twat heads who think that we're the slightest bit interested in what fucking mood they're in while they're writing their fucking god-awful blogs? I mean, WHO CARES? WE DON'T. KEEP YOUR FUCKING NARCCISTIC INANE DRIBBLING RAMBLINGS TO YOURSELVES.

I guess that means I don't think I like them. Oh, and guess what mood I'm in.

Is Regan Jewish?

2006-10-29T09:04:00.000-08:00

I dunno guys, is she?

OK I’m being sarcastic. We know she’s Jewish. Do you know how we know? She tells us like almost every day. I’m sure I exaggerate slightly but it certainly seems like that. Oiya broch! Between all her sites there can’t be a week goes by without her hoisting some headline on one of them about Judaism and Ufology or Judaism and something else.

But Regan, you were educated in a Catholic school for Christ’s sake. A broch tzu dir! A chorbn, a kappore. What are you; a maidel mit a klaidel? Enough already.

How many Jewish aliens do you know? None; they’re all Jesuits with Socialist leanings towards Parsis. You think they have shuls on Zeta? Givult!

And is Oregon really a suitable place for a naice Jewish girl to live? C’mon. I mean, all that fresh air??????? What’s with?

I’m going to be ever so helpful and wise, because I’m very good at that, and suggest you turn your attention to a more challenging pursuit; try and get another posting up on UpDates. $10 says you can’t. The last one wasn’t bad – a bit girlie because boy Ufologists don’t worry about things like that, but the feminine side of me thought you made a good point. In case anyone missed it, it appears Regan wants to investigate an old case (at the back of her wardrobe) and is worried that she might trigger some alarm bells at Homeland Security or the FBI. A good idea for not doing anything really and I almost congratulated you publicly but thought it would be a bit too patronising. I don’t mind being a little bit like that but there’s no point in treating women totally like they haven’t got a brain at all. Just a teeny weenie one, which is something Mickeymous should know about, and I’m not talking about his brain.

And now a personal insight into my own genderist sexism. I am appalled to notice that during the course of writing this significant blog entry, I haven’t said “fuck” once. And a part of me suspects that’s because I am addressing a woman. How fucking sad is that? I mean, how pathetically shit faced, fucked in the brain, dumb assed sad is that? A bit, but not too much.

I would like to thank the NSW Beth Din, Morrie the Kosher butcher and my best pal Mel Gibson for help in composing this blog entry.

And for pure unbridled anti-Semitism disguised as “European compassion” coupled with no cogniscent argument, logic, or any real awareness of historical fact, try this blog by a well known member and contributor of UFO Updates:

http://tvoyic.blogspot.com/

It’s Halloween, Nearly A Full Moon, So The UpDates Beast Is Back

2006-10-27T08:34:00.000-07:00

Be very afraid. He has been lurking in the forestry of the sidelines, hidden, silent, watching, alert to the opportunity to pounce once more. His pickings have been lean for a while but his presence has never been in doubt. There have been far away sightings on other Lists, there has even been the trace of droppings on 1947. But his victim on UpDates must be right. He must be someone seen as lacking Ufological weight, who makes what the Beast considers to be an unsubstantiable statement or claim. The Beast will weigh it up and if he thinks he can make a meal out of it, he will pounce without mercy.

Keep children in doors and if you are member of the Updates mailing list, then keep silent for a few days, until he passes and goes looking for a meal elsewhere. Brad Sparks is back.

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/oct/m26-006.shtml

If he catches you, he will rip your Ufological lungs right out and eviscerate the rest of you, until you’re nothing but a pile of steaming gizzards and innards being fed upon by carrion carnivores. While the rest of the List stand around, embarrassed and uncomfortable but too cowardly to get involved unless he turns on them…………….

Geoff, you’re a dead man.

Evacuation.......Already A Subscriber?

2006-10-27T05:12:00.000-07:00

You’ve been getting away with it for too long. This is quality shite here on this blog and I ain’t giving it out for free no longer. Time to pay.

Pass your cursor over the appropriate section below and follow the instructions that come up on your screen. Have a credit card ready. If your cursor does not respond when you move it over the appropriate section, then it will be because while you have been reading this, our software will have checked you out via your computer and it will have decided on its own that it does not consider you a suitable customer here at this blog. We have certain standards and expectations that have to be met by our readershit and if you fail to come up to these standards, then we don’t want you here. You aren’t good enough. It will be because you are too poor or too stupid or too something.

Just to make you feel really bad if you don’t get in (freaking loser), we have below, under the payment area, a sample of the sort of quality material you will be missing by not being admitted here. Read it and weep.

PAYMENT AREA

New to this blog?

Where the fuck have you been?
Click Here To Subscribe

I’m broke - I need more money. Click here for instruction

on how to make me rich, sorry, to re-Subscribe

Click here to speak to me directly.
It will cost you $700 and I will reveal the
secrets of Ufology to you.
Afterwards you can play with my toot toot.

If you’re not interested, FUCK OFF.

---------------------------------------------------

THIS IS QUALITY WRITING THIS IS

Lehmberg has had this poetry crap corner all to himself and I’m gonna kick his ass because he isn’t very good to start with. This is how it’s done Alfred, as you’ll read below – with skill and flair. This is poetry.

Evacuation

As I survey the wreckage that passes for the UFO scene in 2006;
The web sites, the message boards, the blogs, the buzz and so on,

I try to assess the intelligence of the individuals involved in
And committed to,
This subject.

“Intelligence” doesn’t cover it all.
Perhaps I also mean the likeability,
The roundedness as humans,
And the level of maturity in the sense of personal development,

That flakey sort of stuff.
Well.
What do I see?
Indeed what do I feel about you all?
What do I think?

This is the image that comes to my mind:

I am in an upstairs room in my house.
I open the window.
I peer outside at the small river that is an allegory
For Ufology that flows immediately below.
I undo and drop my trousers,
I climb onto the little step that is there
At the foot of the window,

I turnaround so I am now facing back into the room
And carefully wedge my ass out of the window
So that it is now poised 20 feet above Ufology, sorry, the river.

And I sit and wait.

Soon, upon the river,
Along comes a boat.
In it I spy
Anonymous and Mr. Penisonmyhead.
And others.
But not Anonymole, strangely.

I hum a song. Hey nonny, hey nonny, hey no…………………………………………..

The boat comes nearer.

I start to strain…………………

Out of politeness and consideration I yell

“EVACUATION”

Alas, I am too late.

And I don’t really care.
Because if I did I would have yelled earlier or not have bothered in the first place.

Twat The Fucking Useless Gerbil

2006-10-26T02:58:00.000-07:00

The current exchange on Updates between Don Ledger and Eugene Frison is going to end in a fight. Here is the latest exchange:

What If Earth Is A Penal Colony For Aliens?
http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/oct/m25-021.shtml

Normally I would quote extracts from the email to make and emphasise my points but unfortunately, when it comes to anything to do with Eugene at all, it is extremely boring and very hard to concentrate on. He just drones on and on. And on. But you can see for yourself if you can muster the effort. It was an email exchange that started off in a cordial and friendly manner but notice that now there is a harder edge to the language and minor insults are beginning to flow.

It won’t be long before they are calling each other twats. Except that Don, who is a pucker kind of guy, won’t go there. He isn’t that confrontational. If it were anyone else, I would be calling them a wimp and a nancy boy and telling them to roll their sleeves up and to get stuck in and twat the useless fucker. But for Don I’ll make an exception. Just this once.

Still, it would be nice to see blood letting on Updates again. Long time since we had a proper ruckus.

A$50 says the moderator has to step in and separate them.

New Face On My Ass

2006-10-25T07:34:00.000-07:00

This is a sad moment. If there has been one persistent thread that has maintained itself here over the months that this marvellous and frightfully funny blog has been in existence, other than the obvious one which is that I am the most appalling human being on the planet, then it is the battle against a lack anything resembling humor on UpDates. It is a List filled with the most miserable, sour faced drones you could never wish to meet.

If there has been one person who has carried the banner of mirth in the right direction, then it has been “English Features” Stuart Miller.

I like Stuart Miller. OK, someone has to. I like him because I sense a certain something that makes me think that if he was a man and I was a man, we could get it on together, (as long as Biddy didn’t find out). But mostly I like him because he’s stupid. Not stupid in the sense that he’s stupid, although he might be that, but stupid in the sense that he has a stupid sense of humor, which is stupid. You can see his stupid sense of humor in his stupid magazine.

Now, I like stupid. And I like his stupid magazine. You can tell that I'm a bit stupid too because you can see stupid things here on this stupid blog. So as I say, I like Stupid Stuart Miller. He makes me laugh. He’s funny in a stupid sort of way. Except when he isn’t funny but thinks he is. Some of the things he does don’t work and then they come off as stupid. Then they’re not funny. They’re stupid.

That face On Mars shit was stupid. That thing looked nothing like a face let alone one on stupid fucking Mars. It was…………silly.

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/oct/m19-004.shtml

You’ve let me down Stupid Stuart. You’re the one person I rely on to at least make me smile on fucking Updates from time to time but at the risk of sounding like one of the drongos that “contribute” down below, your standards, Stupid Stuart, seem to be slipping. This will not do. You will be punished. I am going to compare you to Greg Boone. That is a serious punishment. Your Face on Mars shit was about as funny as Greg Boone. Slash wrists time. The shame of that should haunt you forever. Now fuck off and go and be funny again, this time properly.

I think I might Have Made A Mistake

2006-10-25T07:32:00.000-07:00

The mistake I am referring to is the assumption that most people are relatively normal.

Before I go any further, let me acknowledge that I know I am now officially picking on Kathy Kasten. Just to redress the balance, immediately after I put this up, I’ll post something nasty about somebody else.

But I am now coming to the conclusion that Kathy Kasten is, well, odd. You mean odder than I have already painted her out to be? Yes. How?

Nice of you to ask Artie but it goes like this. Yesterday on Updates, besides the other shit she posted, she put this up:

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/oct/m24-020.shtml

Review Of Good's New Book

UFOs, The Military and Intelligence
by Timothy Good
Sidgwick and Jackson

The subject of UFOs has always been a controversial affair. Far too many enthusiasts end up joining fringe groups or cults. Today, serious research is performed by only a handful of researchers willing to communicate and discuss the subject with academics or those charged with watching our skies. Two decades ago Timothy Good researched and wrote Above Top Secret: The Worldwide UFO Cover-Up.

It goes on. What she has done is to take the press release on the book and post it on Updates as a book review.

This is about as helpful as a horse crapping on an IPod. There isn’t any point.

If you’re going to submit a review on a book, put in one you’ve written yourself, you silly cow.

This woman is an idiot.

High Horse For Ms. Kasten Please

2006-10-24T07:35:00.000-07:00

Should complete fuckwits be let anywhere near an email facility on a computer? Should women with blond hair be allowed to reproduce? Should elderly people be allowed to offer an opinion? Is UFO UpDates the graveyard for those who have been born with a certain mental deficiency, specifically a sense of humor bypass? Why do I even put a query there – the answer to all these questions bar the last one is “No” with an obvious “Yes” to the Updates poser.

Yesterday Kasten managed to piss off my dearly beloved Biddy and she’s now done a marvellous job on me today. She’s obviously not our favourite poster on UpDates at this blog.

Yesterday John Scheldroup posted a complete load of bilge on Dulce – a long, rambling, boring load of nonsense with various links to web sites about massive drills, security guards, and other dribble.

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/oct/m22-021.shtml

Below is a replica of his first paragraph printed verbatim. Notice anything? Like the g> at the end of the first sentence? Oh that, yeah.

>A few insights regarding the Dulce Underground Base that you
>might find interesting but make a special effort to check out
>the Rand link. g>

So what comes back from Miss Peroxide Bottle? This load of hectoring, high handed arrogant twaddle.

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/oct/m24-001.shtml

“When one does not read material with a critical mind, this is what happens. Sci-Fiction is treated as a fact:

1) There is no there there. The poster would know this if they had visited Dulce. The entire Dulce fantasy was a creation of the US AFOSI to send Paul Bennewitz over the edge into insanity. (See Greg Bishop's well documented book "Project Beta.")

2) The Rand Corporation is a think tank; they do not have security guards at a fantasy place created in an attempt to fool certain segments of the public.

Quote whatever you think you have to, but could it be from creditable sources, not writers who think it is funny to subvert the serious investigation in the phenomena referred as UFOs? Huh! Can that happen? Please!”

Stupid woman.

Then Stupid Old Man chips in: This from Dick Hall:

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/oct/m24-019.shtml

“A fervet Amen to that, Kathy. It's not UFO abductees who are fantasy prone. It is fuzzy thinking, uncritical would-be ufologists. And now I’ve been nice to you and stuck my nose as far up your ass as I can possibly shove it, would you make an old man happy and perform an unnatural sexual act on him?”

Puleeze.

It is true we all make mistakes but in her rush to self righteous indignation, just so she can feel good about herself at someone else's expense, Kasten has rushed to self inflicted humilation at her own expense. Dick Hall doesn't have to rush anywhere to make a twat of himself.

Masterful Kimball Spanks Kasten and Makes me Come

2006-10-23T08:13:00.000-07:00

Biddy here.

Arthur has asked me to look after this one as I have taken a shine against Kasten. Arthur knows that if Kasten comes anywhere near him, I’ll throttle her first and then I’ll wallop him second with a frying pan. Arthur likes strong women. He likes me.

Oh Kimbally, Kimbles, sweetykins. You are nearly as masterful as Arthur when he has a drink in him and a raging horn. That Kasten was getting too mouthy, too flippity with her replies and her retorts. She thought she could cheek her way through Updates, making cowering cringies out of normally languid men. Why, even Lehmberg was sent ascurrying back to his mouse hole after being bush whacked by the rolling pin bearing harridan. Held high in her hand were two small sorry looking round things and Alfred forevermore squeaks in a high voice. But her thunderball progress came to a crashing, juddering stop as she suddenly hit the brick wall known as Kimball. This man take no shit. This man he has balls.

Arthur doesn’t normally re print Updates postings here as it’s usually too dull and boring but I have insisted and he knows better than to refuse a woman on heat.

This is the latest posting that has got me very hot and florid:

KK
There are individuals who have turned what could have been a scientific investigation into a belief in a myth.

PK
Kathy: Absolutely. However, this broad, sweeping over-generalization ignores the fact that there are still plenty of good people who treat the UFO phenomenon not as a myth, but as a subject worthy of serious scientific, historical and journalistic study. I would suggest you ignore the former, focus on the latter, and, with respect, be a little more careful about confusing the two.

KK
Paul: Could you read the e-mail all the way through?

PK
I did.

KK
I stated "there are individuals," not "all people who are involved in Ufology." Apparently, you are ready to react instead of defend ufology. Not a good sign!

PK
Dodging responsibility for what you wrote is never a good sign either. Here is the full paragraph that you originally wrote:

"The point is that UFOs is the new mthology according to Bullard. I agree with him. There are individuals who have turned what could have been a scientific investigation into a belief in a myth."

To summarize:

1. UFOs are "the new mythology" according to Bullard.
2. You agree with him.
3. Individuals have turned what could have been a scientific investigation into a belief in a myth.

Now, to me at least, that reads as follows: "UFOs are the new mythology... it could have been a scientific investigation, but it isn't, because individuals (presumably ufologists, as you don't indicate that they are somehow exempted) have turned it into a belief in a myth."

To me the damning line, which deserved the rejoinder I provided, is: "what could have been a scientific investigation".

Said scientific investigation has, in fact, been going on from the get-go (although not to the extent that I would like to see). Your statement ignores that completely, and paints, as I said, a broad-brushed, over-generalized picture of "the new mythology".

I've been critical of the frauds, charlatans and, yes, the wide-eyed believers who can be found in ufology, but I've always been careful to differentiate them from the serious researchers. I didn't see that anywhere in what you wrote, and I still don't.

The end.

These are the previous postings in the thread.
http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/oct/m22-022.shtml

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/oct/m21-003.shtml

Paul, you were simply magnificent. You were so masterful, so strong, so firm, so………..oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhfuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Geez. Thank God for Rabbits. Please don’t tell Arthur. I can barely catch my breath.

Biddy

PS. You can come round and give me a real seeing to anytime. I'm going to read that email again. And again. Blush.

Tedious Bunch of Retards

2006-10-22T12:33:00.000-07:00

http://oddempire.org/weblog/?p=209

Do We Care

2006-10-21T14:37:00.000-07:00

Do we care if earth is a penal colostomy for aliens?

Do we care about why ET’s here?

Do we care if there’s another pig ugly face of Mars?

Do we care if there’s an alien scheme?

Do we care if John Keel is on his way out?

Do we care if Carl Sagan has risen from his grave and opened a supermarket?

No.

Do we care about anything? Yes.

What?

Fish cakes.

Is that what you’d like to see discussed on Updates? People talking about fish cakes?

Yes.

Why?

You have to ask?

I see your point.

Biddy

2006-10-21T05:27:00.000-07:00

I am Biddy. I am a friend of Arthur’s. He and I share things. He has promised me for a long time that he would let me say something here and thinks it’s good for a women’s perspective to be aired. There’s a double entendre in there for anyone who can be bothered. Before I say anything he said I should introduce myself. So here goes.

Hi, I’m Biddy.

Well that’s that then.

That Kathy Kasten seems a hard nosed, grab ‘em by the short and curlies and twist them till there are tears running down their cheeks kind of a gal. She takes no shit from no one. She reckons she’s in a man’s world and has to play them at their game. She big boss woman.

Unfortunately, she knows shit. She’s funny cos she frightens the men a little, a bit like a nipping Chihuahua, and they kind of back off. Chihuahuas get stood on from time to time though Kathy. You come anywhere near my man and I’ll maul your titties off dear. Arthur likes strong women. He likes me.

Get Out Of It You Old Duffer

2006-10-19T09:31:00.000-07:00

Supreme Commander Jim Moseley has had his day. It is time for him to step down and hand his crown over to me. He was never that funny in the first place and I say to those who bristle at that remark, show me something funny that he has said or written. Go on, show me. The only reason people speak with infection about him is because he’s been here for ages. Well now its time to piss off and stand aside and let someone who really knows how to make himself laugh take the wheel. What you see on this page is the new way, the way of the naughties. This is modern humor, here. See, feel it. It’s lascivious isn’t it?

UFOs aren’t in themselves particularly funny but the people who are interested in them are. That nice Jason Gammon for example……D’jaknow? I can’t even say the name without falling off my chair, I mean, the guy is just so screamingly hilarious. And twozzle features, halitosis face, whatis name, you know who I mean…….. John Scheldroup, that’s it! He’s a goat. I mean he just smells like the drivel he talks.

Now, isn’t the above paragraph funny? Be honest, when did you last laugh like that. Now that is humor.

Anonymous

2006-10-18T07:49:00.000-07:00

Vos es a canis. Vos have brains of a snail quisnam has been eaten per a sus. Vestri caput capitis est tantus ut vos cannot ingredior per foris vacuus hitting vestri ferreus. Super annus is has had an accumalating motum , adeo ut vos currently have mental aevum of a three annus vetus. Vos have nusquam loquor quod nusquam ut affero. Vos would exsisto melior off sitting in a angulus in a scamnum totus dies in vestri own , non sermo ut alius liberi.

Alius ut , Ego per amo vos.

Eugene, You Are One Boring Twonker

2006-10-18T04:00:00.000-07:00

Eugene Frisson has a point about Stan Freidman. He has avoided getting into a long drawn out debate with Huge about something or other to do with ET and proof. One can’t deny it; Stan has done this and in so doing has avoided the issue. Stan is a clever man. The reason he hasn’t done it is because Huge is the biggest fucking bore walking the face of this planet. Like I mean, even worse than me. It is true that some people make the same allegation about Lehmberg; that if something could be said in 3 lines Alfred will take 8. But Huge will take 15. This is truly a man who likes the sound of his own voice. This is his latest offering. See how far you can get. I bet you can’t read it through to the end – I bet you anything. If you can, come back and tell us.

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/oct/m17-007.shtml

EUGENE FRISSON, YOU’RE A FUCKING BORE

Regan

2006-10-12T05:10:00.000-07:00

Hello Regan.

As you can’t but help have noticed over the last few months, I am an unpleasant person and in continuance of that behavior, I mention your name in the headline of this blog cos I know it will scare the freaking b’jesus out of you and I like scaring women cos it makes me feel big. I know I frighten the crap out of you but I have to say, and you shouldn’t fight it, that there may be a synchronicity between us. Look at what happened yesterday with that nice man Tim Printy. That was very telling, wasn't it. Be honest Regan; do you have secret panderings of desire for my personage? I ask because I can’t get past the reference to this blog on yours yesterday which was quickly followed by a reference to UFOs and sex. There is a message there. It was as if the two stories were intertwined as one and linked. And that abrupt ending to the Sex link - "That's enough" - as if it was all getting too much for you and you needed to stop and resume breathing normally. You brazen vixen!!

And that endearing nickname you have for me because I am the one whose name you dare not speak; "the pink one." That appears to be a direct reference to my sexual organ. Ah shucks, you’re embarrassing me………….

BTW, I do like the way you wallop skeptibunkers over the head all the time. You are very forceful. They are a waste of time, aren’t they? They are bad people.

I hope you don’t think I’m being bitchy when I say that I think Lesley’s getting very girlie on her blog these days, isn’t she, what with that silly certificate business and occasional pix of cuddly kittens and children and shit. If it keeps her happy though………..

As its “Be Nice To Regan” day today, or at least for the moment – you never know with me cos I can’t always get to the medication - perhaps you would like to suggest someone I can be nasty about. Your choice. Other than me, who pisses you off most within Ufology, and don't say freaking skeptibunkers. Tell me on your blog and I will do your bidding. Do you have any recommendations for zit removal by the way? I’ve got one that I keep “doing” and it keeps coming back. Should I try an axe?

If you like waffle and poorly constructed argument, then Regan’s excellent blog can be found at http://ufobits.blogspot.com/

Tim Printy is a Knob

2006-10-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

In what I would have to acknowledge is a very thorough rundown at UFOs: A Skeptical View http://members.aol.com/TPrinty/UFO.html, Timsy does an excellent and quite up to date (though with some exclusions so you don’t know it all) overview of the current UFO “scene” in terms of web sites and blogs etc. He has picked up on this one and this is what he has to say about it:

Update UFO Updates is a recent addition that seems to be run by somebody who has a bone to pick with those posting on the UFO Updates list. It appears to be somebody from the old RRR Group but that is just a guess. It has a similar style of blasting people. I do read it but I find many of the comments rather immature. I guess it is like a car wreck. You may not want to look but you look anyway! Take this one with a grain of salt and don't get too angry. Personally, I don't think this blog will last. You can only be angry at everyone for so long (although some people manage to do it!).

Oh dear.

1. I don’t have a bone to pick with the posters on UFO Updates other than the fact that the majority of them are a bunch of arrogant, retarded, stupid, blustering bigoted bores who are only fit for the trip to the glue factory.

2. This blog has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with that rag, tag and bobtail mix of sexually and mentally dysfunctional societal rejects that made up the RRR. And compared to me, they were fucking Mother Teresa in freaking drag. I am pleased to say I am far worse.

3. I agree; many of the comments are “rather immature”. Now fuck off.

4. A grain of fucking salt? This won’t fucking last? You can only be so fucking angry for so fucking long? Are you having a fucking laugh? Shit! You’re right. I apologise for the foul and abusive language and I also offer my sincere apologies to any and all who I may have offended by my comments and observations on this blog. From now on I shall be a model of self restraint, politeness, consideration, and artful observation. No more nastiness because frankly, it just doesn’t achieve anything and is very childish. If you can’t say anything nice about people then don’t say anything at all. I am a reformed character, calm, reflective, and ……………. Printy; this isn’t what you really want, is it? Nah, I didn’t think so.

Pasty Faced Clown At It Again

2006-10-11T03:31:00.000-07:00

What is it about Greg Boone? I know; he’s an idiot! Most of his posts to UpDates are childlike monologues about “Hey folks, we better watch out or else” type shit dirges. Its all nicely paragraphed and laid out for the second graders who are going to read it, for it is pitched at that level. An added bonus is the fact that Greg has friends in every conceivable type of profession and industry, and family that comes from every corner of the planet, or so it seems according to what he’s spouted on the List over time. Also, he’s a wimp. If anyone’s nasty to him he will simply cut and run. If the occasional mood does take him, he will hiss and spit back briefly and then vamoose. No prolonged entrenched warfare.

Another thing he likes to do, and it’s intensely irritating, is to lobe grenades. He will pop up with a statement or question that catches the eyes and brains of the more simple folk who habituate UpDates and starts a discussion. He then steps back and makes no further contribution, happy to watch on the sidelines as his handiwork takes hold and we have to endure a week or two of brain dead “conversation”.

There are some people that just get on your nerves and he’s one of them.

But God forbid, he should attempt humor. And he just has. See:

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/oct/m10-003.shtml

“I propose NASA send a new spacecraft to Mars.

It should be about 1,000 miles long and shaped like a fork.

It would target the Cydonia region and especially the formerFace On Mars. Once the craft breaks through the pink Martian atmosphere it would embed itself square into the forehead of therock formation formerly known as the Face On Mars.

We would then rename the region to:

Put A Fork In It Already, Mars.

A great soon to be tourist attraction.

Okay, away from the funny stuff.”

What funny stuff you dickhead? This is humor? Oh Puleeze! Someone take this guy out back, bury him face down in the ground with his ass just sticking out, and use his crack to park their bike in. Or better still, just shoot him.

What the fuck is a Transhuman??

2006-10-04T09:33:00.000-07:00

What with the up ‘n coming Kimball conference bean-fest in Halifax soon, there has been much talk of late about transhumanism. Mac Tonnies has claimed for some time that he’s one and people have let him get away with it but it is only now, after the spotlight has shone more intensely on the subject, that people have started to ask more questions. Are you one of those who have asked these question? No? Well then you’re a pretty dozy twat aren’t you. Stop reading this and go and look at Kevin Randle’s blog or some other girlie shit.

Regardless of what people like Tonnies may tell you, transhumanism is a cult just like the Raelians or the Lemurians. It does involve committing to a number of fundamental and controversial principles and activities and joining them results in a complete abandonment of your previous life. Also, you’ll look different. Here are the main issues;

1. All your income is kept. By you. You don’t give any of it away.

2. You get to shag anyone you want, not just that hulking Amazonian witch that the Raelians parade when they want to recruit another bunch of masturbatory 14 year olds.

3. Transhumanism is actually an alternative physical state from which, after you’ve passed into it, you become capable of a higher dimensional thinking which in turn enables you to get a 10% discount on admission to Costco movie houses. But……….. inevitably there is a catch. It requires a two stage transformation, the first of which is a surgical operation upon completion of which you will have assumed the physical characteristics of a cat/human hybrid. You will have a tail, you’ll purr but you will still be able to speak, and you’ll spend hours licking your ass. This is because hence forth, you will do most of your speaking through that orifice.

4. The second part of the transformation is mystical and evolves a supreme mental effort. For, having mastered the ability of talking through your asshole, you finally have to transmorph into one. In other words, you need to become a complete asshole. This is incredibly difficult and as yet has been beyond the abilities of all bar one person, namely the leader of the cult, Ali Gee lookalike George Dvorsky. And boy, has he been successful at it. You can find out why here and after you've read it you will leave a nasty comment.

http://sentientdevelopments.blogspot.com/2006/10/unidentified-flying-idiots.html

Who’s This (3)

2006-09-25T04:27:00.000-07:00

I find after careful and considered reflection that I am bound to agree with your analysis but my conscience finds it appropriate to make the following points. Part of the house keeping routine of a pelican is to pay attention to his plumage. This involves burying his beak in his feathers and with a cacophony of accompanying squawking, manoeuvring it around in such a fashion so as to disturb whatever unwanted insect life that may have crept in since the last round of ablutions. The affect of this is to cause the plumage to be turned over and blown out as it were and it assumes a shiny glean and dint. The older the pelican, the more involved the procedure.

At the end of it, the casual observer watching this performance would conclude that he had just watched some tired old bird goose stepping around with his chest all puffed out like some demented, condescending, deranged avarian fascist. My conscience impels me to point out the remarkable similarity between that image and myself.

Bunch of half dead, brain decaying, lazy assed morons

2006-09-13T04:41:00.000-07:00

The excitable and cuddly Joe Faccenda has a point regarding the probable discovery of the plane involved in the incident in 1953 now known as the Kinross incident.

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/sep/m12-002.shtml

He berates the List for the massive under reaction to the news that seen on the lake floor not far from the downed plane is a circular disk, and can I remind you that the plane was sent up to look for a UFO and the image of the UFO and the plane merged as one on radar screens. So it looks like we might be about, at last, to recover a real UFO, when the divers pull their fingers out and get down there some time next year, and Faccenda is incredulous at the utter lack of response. Only the indefatigable Lehmberg rushed to reply but then he’d attend the opening of an envelope just to be noticed. One or two others staggered forwards afterwards but it was a lame do.

So why the limp dick response?

Because everybody knows that the circular disk on the lake floor will turn out be a man made piece of shit, some super duper star ship trooper oh so secret load of American/Canadian military garbage that was so awfully secret that when it was responsible for killing a few Canadians, the freaking Cannucks didn’t have the balls to hold their hands up. It has to be that because, as we all know, real UFOs, namely spaceships from planet Wipeyourass don’t really exist, aliens don’t really exist and the nearest thing on this earth to a non terrestrial life form would be the grimace on Lehmberg’s face each morning as he takes his daily bowel movement to the tune of the Star Spangled Banner while simultaneously attempting to stand to attention and at the same time trying to stop any getting down his legs.

New Roswell 1947 UFO crash footage? You what? Are these people complete fuckwits or total ones? How many times now has this piece of nonsense popped up on this List? Three or four? Each time people are politely told that it is the final minute’s footage taken from the Ant and Dec film on the AA debacle and cretinous Santilli and his twatish partner. And still it keeps popping up. You know why? Because despite the supposed higher standards to be found on UFO UpDates, the higher quality of discussion, intellect and so on, when it comes down to it, they’re all just a bunch of believers like every other half wit to be found on any other list. They want to believe. And I want to be sick. Again. Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalph.

No carrots this time but I've got some hanging off the end of my chin. Let's see if I can get it with my tongue. That's lunch sorted.

Thank the f..............

2006-08-30T14:25:00.000-07:00

that Updates returned and returned fairly quickly too 'cos I tell you, I was that close to slashing my wrists. I mean, where would we be without the usual load of old windbags, off list shennanigans, posturing, chest thumping, dull ass aching, ear splitting nonsense that we have all come to lerve. That's actually easy to answer. We'd all be off leading wholesome lives, trying to get it off with the neighbour's dog while popping large volumes of E.

Personally, I'd be picking my nose a lot more too. But that's just me.

Do Aliens Shave Their Pubic Hair?

2006-08-28T12:56:00.000-07:00

Staying with Hollis for a little while longer, cos he’s such a doll, I’m trying to work out what the attraction is. Of course it’s obvious; the List loves an idiot. I don’t mean someone who plays the fool, ‘cos there’s enough of them at the moment with Shell (Tim) and Miller finally coming together in a synchronistic convergence. Gee, if those two really get at it then a clown’s paradise will prevail. Have either of them anything at all to offer Ufology other than wise cracks and smart ass asides? No, the List loves a genuine idiot who breezes along with just a wisp of hope and when that hope quickly evaporates, they pounce like a cougar on a jack wabbit.

Hollis walks the walk and talks the talk. Only trouble is, he talks dribble and he walks with a decided limp. Despite Don Ledger’s clear doubts that Hollis has ever flown anything ever at all, I take him on that point and also on that of his supposed high security clearances pretty much at face value. I could be wrong and if I am, it’s largely irrelevant anyway. Even if he is as stated, he knows nothing, pretty much like the whole damned waste of time US Airforce/military/intelligence community when it comes to UFOs/LGM. If he did, he wouldn’t be there strutting his stuff looking for a massdebate.

The whole thing is a complete waste of time – not just Hollis but everything connected with Ufology period. We’ll never find out the truth because no one knows it. And if no one knows it then we can’t be told it and that means that the only way we can find out is if they tell us. By “they” I mean them, not that other lot who don’t know anything. And why would they tell us? Mind you, I guess we could always just ask. But who do we ask? Why, we ask them. But how do we find them to ask them? We could try standing in the middle of a crop circle and scream. What happens if they don’t respond?

We’re stuck.

I’m off to circumcise myself. I’ve nothing better to do to be honest.

Are You Rich Reynolds in Disguise?

2006-08-20T13:06:00.000-07:00

Hollis Kimball is twatting himself up and all over the place on Updates and is doing a very good impersonation of our dear Rich. Are they one and the same? One of Rich’s little boys, AKA “Shamus”, tells me there is no connection and the similar style and identical twattery is pure coincidence.

“You piss me off, you get away with murder, and every time you post on Updates I’m gonna getchoo”. Eugene Frisson in reference to Stan Friedman.

“Rockets Missiles UFOs & Other Aircraft Hazards” – for once James Smith has posted an almost interesting, sensible, readable, and logical message. Give the guy a slap on the back. Better still, just slap him.

Ufology 101; When In Doubt – Masturbate.

2006-08-17T03:20:00.000-07:00

It seems that all the so called best brains in Ufology can do when there isn’t much of any semblance or construct passing through that jelly that passes itself off as their brains is to post up on their blogs pictures of naked or near naked women. “Right boys. Enough of all that MJ12 shit; get your dicks out and get stuck into this”. Oh puleeze.

For your prurience

Kyle King
http://uforeflections.blogspot.com/2006/07/ufor-babe-of-week4.html

Mac Tonnies
This is "Lucie."
http://posthumanblues.blogspot.com/

Paul Kimball
Veronica Reynolds UFO Fan Club - Vol. VIII
http://redstarfilms.blogspot.com/2006/08/veronica-reynolds-ufo-fan-club-vol.html

What kind of example gentlemen does that give to young, impressionable children coming into Ufology for the first time? That the subject is inhabited by a bunch of dirty old men? That original thought has been replaced by horniness? What about female Ufologists looking at this tripe? What would they think? Do these people care? This is simply absolutely appalling. I am going to be sick. Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalph. Oh, that feels better. Lucky I had a bucket handy. Ooher; there’s some carrot bits in it.

Thank God They’re All Gone

2006-08-09T08:49:00.000-07:00

There was a dreadful crowd here before, which is why I haven’t posted for a few days. I am hoping they have all pissed off and gone to play somewhere else. Strange people with names like “Emperor” and “Kimball” and “Anonypox” and whatever. There were some wimmin here too. All awful people you wouldn’t have through your front door for fear of giving the cat apoplexia. You can see the mess they left behind down below. I am looking for cleaner readers; those that will do what they’re told to do and will shut up and just listen when told to as well. I just can’t stand fussy folk.

You're All idiots

2006-08-09T08:13:00.000-07:00

I am now finding the Jesse Marcel thread on UpDates frustrating. I have actually enjoyed it for the detail and the back and forth. I’ve even learned a little bit of stuff from it, although admittedly not very much. And just for a change, I am actually going to bend over backwards not to be rude about the posting below which is taken from UpDates and is by Jason Gammon. The reason I use it as an illustration is because it is a timely reminder, at the point to which the debate has now arrived, as to just where the List is with all of all of this at this moment in time; absolutely nowhere and back where it started at the beginning.

Have a read through if you’ve not seen it so far.

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/aug/m09-008.shtml

"Please don't align yourself with this group. The ultimate truth behind the Roswell Incident is probably something so complex that most researchers, today, fail to grasp. Something happened in the desert near Roswell in 1947. Subsequently, countless documents were illegally destroyed. The behavior of the Military was abnormal, if not truly bizarre. The explanation that Project Mogul was the true cause of the commotion is completely absurd. It doesn't matter if a million weather balloons are strung together. No trained military personal are going to confuse a Project Mogul device with a supposed flying saucer.

With regard to the wreckage, and it's strange properties, we are only now creating alloys possessing the same properties as those of the crash debris. This is important because it does prove that the creation of said material is plausible. Also keep in mind that the statements of the witnesses have been highly warped over time. When a witness said "It's like balsa wood.", this doesn't mean the witness is claiming an extraterrestrial craft was made of balsa wood, instead he is claiming the material had similar properties. Remember, this was a time before plastic was widely known. Assuming you lived in this era, how might you describe plastic if you had no prior knowledge of it?"

The reason for my frustration is nothing to do with the length of time that the thread has continued. It is because I have now begun to wonder just how many times the truth of what happened at Roswell has to be placed under the public’s nose before people are prepared to look at it and take it on board. All are culpable. The sceptics are guilty because they fixate either on Mogul or, if they have no favourite solution, then they argue the time line or the detail of events right down to the final comma, and they do this just so they don’t have to give ground to the ridiculous concept of aliens from another planet actually landing in the New Mexico desert.

A much though as it pains me to say it, the believers in an alien solution to Roswell are just as fixated as the skeptics and simply cannot, or rather are incapable of looking beyond any other horizon than the one that currently stares them in the face. Theirs is myopia in the extreme and if any of these “magnificent” captains of ufology that are currently parading themselves on UpDates, like Mr Friedman or Mr Randle or anyone else that has jumped in to knock the skeptics, ever utters a word against simpleminded believers on other sites or even, for that matter, the New Agists, then I shall launch a campaign against them of such verbal ferocity on this site that it will make Ted Bundy looked like a pussycat. Because as far as I’m concerned, there’s no difference between any of them – they are all the same.

If I was sitting in the Pentagon right now, watching this thread, I would be creasing myself with laughter.

Daddy, this bit fell off.

2006-08-04T02:37:00.000-07:00

"Look son, look what daddy’s brought you home to play with. It’s a piece of dabby dozy material off one of those flying saucers. Yes, yes, of course you can play with it son. Just bear in mind that the last guy to touch that was Slurgoth on Reta Zetadoodahs. That bendy piece of shit has come a long way to get here. You’ll be like only the fourth or fifth person in the entire history of Mankind ever to touch something as precious as that so mind you don’t spill any peanut butter over it. No Jesse, don’t do that with it. I’m sure the hamster would rather you didn’t try and shove the sharp bit up his ass. And no, you can’t use it either to clean out your ears. Yeah sure, go swap it if you want with Frankie next door for some gum but it’s got to be worth at least three packs. What’s that honey? Somebody from the press on the phone? What the fuck! How did they find out? Junior, did you call the papers? JUNIOR. Now what hon? Someone at the door from military intelligence? Oh yeah, right look colonel, I have the authority to classify anything I want to, so get lost. Etc. etc."

Girls

2006-08-02T02:35:00.000-07:00

It is very difficult to get your head around the sort of mindset that would want to write the rubbish that is currently lying below this entry. It is clearly obvious that Arthur is someone who writes just for the sake of hearing his own voice in print and there is a strong suspicion that as the views are so off center that, unless he is mentally deficient, then he has simply posted this garbage for the sake of causing controversy. That doesn’t take a great intellect or very much of anything really. If the truth be told, he’s coming over as a bit of a pathetic bastard.

Gender should be absolutely irrelevant except in the obvious walks of life, such as reproduction for example, where it is obviously essential. Beyond that, is there really any point in highlighting someone’s sex? You could argue that in areas of life where either for cultural reasons or for reasons of bias, women have been traditionally poorly represented that when women do break through that barrier then it is worthy of comment. The problem is that then, men can then sound very patronising. I do however feel that Ufology is one such area where although women have certainly not been excluded, they have nevertheless been thin on the ground. I think therefore that the achievements of both Lesley and Regan should be lauded because they have “burst through”, achieved recognition, and have possibly laid the groundwork for others to follow. After all, what’s not to like? What exactly is Arthur’s problem? Lesley provides an excellent news service mixed with entertaining comment on focussed media matters while Regan has perhaps gone for a broader and more in depth writing style that reflects her intellect and insight.

If Regan or Lesley have in any way been discouraged by Arthur’s rantings then they should be ashamed of themselves; the man is a moron and his views are toilet fodder.

Just One Last Thing Before I Go......................

2006-07-17T02:40:00.000-07:00

I know I said my presence here would be intermittent over the next few days and it will be, but I just couldn’t go without one final comment. It’s about The Buzzards; Regan and Lesley. Do they go on and on or what? Are all women permanently insane because of hormonal shortcomings or is it just those two? They seem to think that all male Ufologists hate women because they accuse them of hating men. No, men don’t hate all women – just you two.

This is how it works. A Ufologist asks them how they feel about something from a a women’s point of view. They get all huffy and reply that their gender is irrelevant. The Ufologist is taken aback by the ferocity of the reply and makes a negative comment. The Buzzards respond that as he has been so hurtful, he must hate women. The Ufologist sits there puzzled, scratching his balls and picking his nose, and wondering where he went wrong and concludes, not unreasonably, that in fact the two old Birds must in fact hate men. The Buzzards retreat to their cave where they squawk their indignation amongst themselves, thrilled they have notched another scalp. There, they feed upon the gizzards of the downed Ufologist like two screeching harpies, cackling and hissing as they stomp around their cauldron.

These gals are seriously over sensitive and are a menace to Ufologists everywhere. Why do they behave like this? Well, I understand one is menopausal which says everything that can possibly be said about the matter and the other is alleged to be a bit simple. Together, they make a fine pair. Or quartet actually.

Let’s face it; Ufology is for men and Buzzards shouldn’t be doing it. Here’s why. If they rounded a corner and came across a landed UFO and the door to the UFO required a spanner to be taken to it, these two would call out the AAA. And that says it all.

This may help as a clue to my identity

2006-07-16T11:39:00.000-07:00

I am the subject of a major legal case that has attracted international notoriety involving another country and some misdeeds I am alleged to have committed via my computer. As a result of urgent matters arising from this case and the need for my lawyers to pursue other alternative strategies, it may well be that for the next few days my presence here will be intermittent. But fear not, I will return with more incisive and biting ankle snapping as soon as I wriggle out of my present mess.

In the meantime, I notice that the natives below are revolting. Utterly.

Who’s This #2?

2006-07-16T11:37:00.000-07:00

A pox upon you for a dissembling authoritarian regime providing for the convenient apostasy of the same questionable legitimacy of the body bringing about these egregious circumstances... ...we'd be better served, I think, by your conjectured philosopher king the contested legitimacy and motivation of same. Given the encroaching tyranny and creeping fascism promulgated by a moneyed elite, you may be better served doing your shopping at Walmarts. Paul Kimball (mouth starts to foam) and the rest are ignorant too, but parrot the party line to prop up their conduits for more moldy bread and butter already turned, or to justify their inability or lack of desire to think outside the ticky-tacky little boxes they've been programmed to believe they're comfortable in. Kimball is a willing poster child for mainstream ufological denial, pretended ignorance of ufological fact, and mainstream unwillingness to think out of the box of the suspect status quo. And I did this all in one breadth!

Now I’m Going To Get Really Nasty

2006-07-15T04:09:00.000-07:00

It’s about time I dived into the comments that people have been leaving behind and started to pull one or two of them apart.

“Interestingly, I've received far more private e-mails in support of my position on………”. This happens to be taken from Paul Kimball in the comments below but really it’s irrelevant. I’ve heard it from so many other people in relation to so many different threads that it has now become a trigger for me.

So, let’s see, I put up a controversial posting on UpDates that gets all the old VND’s foaming at the mouth, I get lots of flak, and privately, I get lots of messages of support. I choose to reinterpret those last words as, “I get lots of messages of support from lame brains who haven’t got the balls to post those wonderful messages up on the List themselves and who just lurk. They make no contribution because they are scared shitless that if they do, other people will be nasty to them or will laugh at them. Someone might even say very loudly, “BOO””. They are not messages of support; they are postings from the scared and spineless.

I have noticed that Regan Lee has become very stressed over the fact that some people might think she is the author of this blog. I am happy to confirm that she is not. Regan mentions her inability yet again, to actually get a posting accepted on Updates. She is not alone. It’s not rocket science boys and girls. You might trip up once or twice maybe but it hardly requires a college degree. Those of you who have had this problem could just try, only for a minute or so, to stop being so stupid.

Old Gary says; “Don't judge all the UFO analysts by the vocal few anti-Bush-ers. These guys have big chips on their shoulders. I think most of them are the same folk that buy exopolitics or "disclosure" “. Geez, Its enough to make you weep. The anit-Busher’s Old Gary are the ones with brains and the ability to think and discriminate. The charms of Dr Salla are the very last place you will find them. Do you have a grasp of politics and, for that matter, Ufology? Or life?

I don’t know if the hedonistic life style has affected Kyle’s brain with resulting short term memory problems but if he could just for a moment stop half way through his hissing fit and take the palm of his right hand and ram it hard against the side of his head, then that just might jog his memory about the brief but nevertheless extremely interesting Ufological career of Rich Reynolds. There was a point, my little cherub, when after all the initial anti Reynolds hysteria had died down the first time round, when even people like Jerry Clark were saying, “Thank you Rich” for information provided and so on and so forth. It’s just that when you hate someone you’ve never met so much that the red mist in front of your eyes turns to a brown hazy color, then remembering anything becomes a major mental effort (Alfred excused). Of course it couldn’t last, not with his pathology, but that blue period did exist for a while. If you’re going to bother reading this you lot, read it properly. In particular Kyle, try the small print at the very top under the Blog Header. This is exactly what it says on the packet, as you have now discovered. If you want some semi intellectual de/reconstruction, go and do it yourself. If you can.

Odd Emperor and Alfred, keep going at it boys. Gloves?

And finally, to all those of you who have been so insulted by the above that you have vowed never to return, I firstly say good riddance - this blog is only for those who can take it. And I know you’ll keep peeping anyway. And secondly, as I hate people as it is………………………………

That crown that Rich Reynolds vacated is mine.

Grin and Bare it

2006-07-13T09:23:00.000-07:00

Some words of comfort for Mr. Kimball who is currently stretched tight on a rack over at Updates and having his innards played with; it will all end well.

Mr. Reynolds went through a far worse process than you are currently going through and came out the other side with his reputation enhanced. It was only the actions of the lobotomised children that he had with him to keep himself company that threw the wagon off the track again.

Having had to endure the dryness and tedium of the Heflin exchanges, the List has revolted and decided to go for a cycle of emotion instead. The phase will pass, like everything does and another old case will come under the microscope or someone else will say something that gets everyone’s thermometer rising. Not much fun of course if you happen to be at the center of it all, so thanks for being the patsy this time round Paul.

Having said that, they are lining up at the shooting gallery somewhat. What do you do? Paul has four choices;

1. Ignore it and not respond at all. That way it dies very quickly.

2. Fight back hard, matching insult for insult.

3. Reply but in a calm and friendly manner, so undermining any malevolence or spite.

4. Throw your hands up, admit you were wrong and shrug your shoulders.

At the moment, Paul has gone for number 2, an understandable response. Trouble is, it prolongs the whole episode and can get very bitter and personal. But there are advantages to this because this sort of exchange does in the end induce a higher form of intimacy and yes, even respect at the end of it all.

If you’ve been following the Mckinnon extravaganza, which option do you think Paul should take?

Get Up Off Your Knees Rick and Act Like A Man

2006-07-10T03:07:00.000-07:00

Below is the latest post on UpDates from a relative newbie to the List, Rick Nielsen.

http://www.virtuallystrange.net/ufo/updates/2006/jul/m09-001.shtml

Thank you Tim for the breath of fresh air! I, for one, appreciate your candor.

Truth be told, most of the _credible_ Listers here are "positive" skeptics. Don't they know it! If you swallow all the hooey, you come off full of it! I like Dick Hall's desire for more discriminating ufologists. (Did you see that compliment Dick?) I like Stan Friedman's, let's call them what they are, MEGA-meta-analyses. Talk about tenacity! I like Dr. Maccabee and all the other photo-analysts shedding light on our treatments. I like the original researchers and the news contributors. And yes, I even appreciate the "common-taters" like me, who don't have much more to offer than third-hand opining. There are really too many positive skeptics to list here. What I get bored with are folks who seem to swat at gnats while sucking down their Camels, trying to prove how smart they are. But they don't really go anywhere or shed new light or even cheerlead. May they make the Gilbert & Sullivan's Mikado, Grand High Executioners list! But, as many sound, self-evident threads go, this comment will probably end up forgotten, maybe as it should be, like all the other good sense seen. You tell me. (Please, tell me!)

Notice anything? Yes, it’s subservient and cringingly crawling. Just how far is it possible to get one’s nose up Dick Hall’s ass? If you have an accurate assessment of that question backed up by reasonable maths, then please post in Comments.

That though is not the issue. Mr. Nielson appears to be a genuine and pleasant fellow and I am not here to besmirch the character of a fine, upstanding citizen.

But the tone of his missive is interesting because, if you are observant, then you will have noticed it among other new arrivistes in the past as well. It is a feeling of, “I am now in the company of people whose reputation within Ufology is immense. These folk know their onions and have been on TV and even written books. And here I am among them, talking to them - and I know nothing”.

But give Rick another few weeks and he’ll be referring to List members as half witted freaks and morons. And if he isn’t, then he should. Rick; they are snappy, ill tempered divas, full of their own self importance. Their only skill has been to memorise the details of a list of cases to quote back at others. They are human and deeply fallible and often not that smart. They make mistakes and frequently make idiots of themselves. And they are very precious. Pick on someone Rick, like say Bruce Maccabee, and sink your teeth in. Be nasty and unreasonable. But do it standing up Rick, with your chest out and your fists clenched. Then come back here and tell us all about it.

Who’s this?

2006-07-07T04:17:00.000-07:00

Gee whiz. When I was a kid growing up in Hootersville, all my relatives would come over and we would have a hootnanny of a time talking about UFO’s. One distant cousin works at Area 51 and he was telling me all about it. Can’t say much now but when the time is right, I’ll clue you in.

When I was working in DC I would often bump in to some guy who worked behind the scenes at The White House. He would tell me all sorts of things about what the president knew about aliens and how he was dealing with it. Seems there was some kind of problem with linguistics or something. If I hear one more person say “Aliens don’t exist”, I’ll get down off my horse and scream till I’m pink in the face.

That’s all us ordinary folks can do.

And thanks for the heads up on that one Stan. That was one of the best TV UFO investigation progams I've seen in years. All the Ufological bigshots getting it on. Bottom line is that Uris’ Kosher Deli laid things on the line and if you ain't got the stomach for what the truth is you'd better toughen up.

As I say, a dog’s poop is just as good as yours and mine.

Very Grumpy Old Man

2006-07-03T08:07:00.000-07:00

Just how much weight and allowance does one have to make for someone's distinguished Ufological career when their present day behaviour is so obnoxious?

I can only be referring to but one person, the great and good Dick Hall. The man behaves like a graceless moron, with all the subtelty and tact of an gorilla. Despite his protestations otherwise, these days he sees fit to jump in and offer opinions about things he hasn't read (Condign Report - "I read the Executive summary and that was enough for me") and the manner and style of his postings to the List are abrupt, rude, and about as worthwhile as a donkey's turd.

None. That is the answer to my question in my first paragraph. I am tired of the sycophancy shown towards him, tired of his attitude, tired of him quite frankly. You're not the only one Dick to have been knifed in the back in old age. Others have far worse problems.

Pass Me The Camera Viktor. Oh, And The Toy Train Wheel

2006-07-03T04:43:00.000-07:00

Thank God for Martin Shough. Because without him over the last few weeks, UFO UpDates would have ground to a halt. Post after posting after post. For once I’m not actually going to be sarcastic or even unkind because, although approximately 50% of Martin’s contributions should be freely prescribed for insomniacs, what has become very clear if it wasn’t already, is that the man has a great brain. He is able to rumble on almost right across the scientific spectrum and does so with some authority. And bugger the bastard but he actually seems like a nice guy too.

What did provide some amusement however was the three way debate on Heflin between Martin, Viktor Gobbldyeglue and Dave Rudiak. While knuckle dragging monosyllabics will just stand right next to each other and get them out and measure, err scientists with aspirations try and bamboozle each other with their scientific expertise and knowledge, which is exactly what these guys did. But you just knew it was going to end in tears eventually and it did, with accusations of lying and “you’re trying to make me look bad”. Thank God these guys are human after all.

Never in my opinion has Stan F looked so vulnerable and isolated as he has done over recent weeks. He got into a verbal fist fight with Eugene “The Eunuch” Frisson, Ufology’s premier ufological fascist who for once, even allowing for the constant bleating, immense repetition, and occasional ennui, was actually right. OK, that’s very subjective but Eugene’s points, to me, seemed valid. Stan, to be fair, because it was rather obvious, couldn’t really be bothered and did somewhat leave Eugene hanging, but what contribution Stan did make seemed vacuous and without any logic or reason. Indeed, it seemed that Stan was guilty of his favourite critique which was “research by proclamation” and “hand waving” with no real substance or indeed even intelligent thought behind much of what he said. It was a real eye opener for some and it has to be said, a disappointment. If Stan sinks, is that end of the ETH?